Chapter 474

This is Compliments of Joe S.

Here are the five Rules for men to follow for a happy Life that Russel J. Larsen had inscribed on his headstone in Logan, Utah. he died not knowing that he would someday win the "coolest headstone" contest.

"Five rules for men to follow for a happy Life"

1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, cooks from time to time, cleans up, and has a job.

2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.

3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust, and doesn't lie to you.

4. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed, and likes to be with you.

5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other or you could end up dead like me.

This one is Compliments of John A

Cake or Bed

A husband Is at home watching a football game when his wife Interrupts, honey, could you fix the Light in the hallway? It's been flickering for weeks now.

He Looks at her and says angrily, fix the lights now? does It Look Like I have "ge" stamped on my forehead? I don't think so.

Fine, then the wife asks, well then, could you fix the fridge door? It won't close Right to which he Replied, fix the fridge door? does It look Like I have "westinghouse" stamped on my forehead? I don't think so

Fine, she says then you could at Least fix the steps to the front door? they are about to break I'm Not a carpenter and I don't want to fix steps.

He says, does It Look Like I have "ace" hardware stamped on my forehead? I don't think so I've had enough of you I'm going to the bar!!!!

So he goes to the bar and drinks for a couple of hours...

He starts to feel guilty about how he treated his wife, and decides to go home as he walks into the house he notices that the steps are already fixed.

As he enters the house, he sees the hall Light Is working.

As he goes to get a beer, he notices the fridge door Is fixed.

Honey, he asks, how'd all this get fixed?

she said, well, when you Left I sat Outside and cried. Just then a Nice young man asked me what was wrong, and I told him. he offered to do all the repairs, and all I had to do was either go to bed with him or bake a cake.

He said, so what kind of cake did you bake?

She replied, hellooooo ... do you see "betty crocker" stamped on my forehead? I don't think so!

This one is compliments of RabbiRabbit

At the bar having already downed a few power drinks, she turns around, faces him, looks him straight in the eye and says, "Listen here, good looking. I will screw anybody, anytime, anywhere, their place, my place, in the car, front door, backdoor, on the ground, standing up, sitting down, naked or clothed. It doesn't matter to me. I just love it."

His eyes are now wide with interest and he responds, "No kidding ... I'm in politics too. are you federal or state?"