Chapter 468

This group are compliments of Lea

Trucker’s Breakfast

For many who travel, often the best food is a truck stop. I wonder what the waitress would have to say if someone actually ordered their breakfast as this guy did.

A trucker came into a Truck Stop Cafe and placed his order. He said, “I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards.”

The brand new blonde waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, went to the kitchen and said to the cook, “This guy out there just ordered three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards. What does he think this place is, an auto parts store?”

“No, ” the cook said. “Three flat tires ... mean three pancakes; a pair of headlights ... is two eggs sunny side up; and a pair of running boards ... are 2 slices of crisp bacon!”

“Oh ... OK!” said the blonde. She thought about it for a moment and then spooned up a bowl of beans and gave it to the customer.

The trucker asked, “What are the beans for, Blondie?”

She replied, “I thought while you were waiting for the flat tires, headlights and running boards, you might as well gas up!”

FOR ONCE THE BLONDE GETS EVEN!!!

Cuckoo

Before leaving to attend a Doe party for her best friend, Muffy promised her husband Bob she would be home by midnight.

Well, the party was great, and the drinks went down way too easily. Muffy was a bit loaded when she headed home about 3am. Just as she got in the door, the cuckoo clock started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, realizing Bob would probably wake up, she cuckooed another 9 times.

She was really proud of herself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution in order to escape a possible conflict with her husband. (Even when totally smashed... 3 cuckoos + 9 cuckoos = 12 cuckoos—MIDNIGHT!)

The next morning, when Bob asked Muffy what time she got in, she told him “Midnight.” He didn’t seem pissed in the least. “Whew, ” Muffy thought, “I got away with that one!”

Then he said, “We need a new cuckoo clock.”

“Why?” Muffy asked.

“Well, ” Bob replied, “Last night our clock cuckooed 3 times, then said ‘oh shit, ’ and cuckooed 4 more times. Then it cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted.”

A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says, “Five beers, please.”

(Think about it ^_^)

There Are Teachers, and Then There Are Educators.

According to a news report, a certain private school was recently faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick, they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints. Every night the maintenance man would remove them, and the next day the girls would put them back.

Finally, the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all the lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night. To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it.

Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.

There’s no such thing as a dirty mind ... It’s just a sense of humor with adult content.