Chapter 466

This one is compliments of John A.

The dishwasher, the dog & the parrot.

Wanda's dishwasher quit working so she called in a repairman.

Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a cheque. Oh, by the way don't worry about my dog Spike. He won't bother you.

"But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!

"I MUST STRESS TO YOU: DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!"

When the repairman arrived at Wanda's apartment the following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking dog he has ever seen. But, just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work.

The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing and name calling.

Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled, "Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!"

To which the parrot replied,

"Get him Spike!"

See - Men just don't listen!

This one is compliments of Gary...

The family was worried about their son. At almost five years he hadn't uttered a single word. They had taken him to all kinds of doctors trying to find out if there was something physically wrong with him. All gave him a clean bill of health, nothing physically wrong with the boy. They also tried all the mental type of doctors. After several rounds of tests all the indications were that there was nothing wrong with him. So the family decided they would just have to live with it.

Then one night at the supper table Junior blurted out, "THESE ARE THE WORST BEANS I HAVE EVER EATEN! YUCK!"

After the mother picked herself up off the floor she sputtered to her son, "Junior, you can talk! Wow! How come you haven't said anything before now?"

Junior looks calmly at her and says (you're gonna love this), "Cause everything has been just fine up until tonight."