Chapter 459

A summary of some alternative interpretations of common medical terms:

ARTERY - The study of fine painting

BARIUM - What you do when the medical process fails

CAESAREAN SECTION - A district of Rome

CONGENITAL - Friendly

DILATE - To live long

A MINOR OPERATION - Digging coal

MORBID - A higher offer

NODE - Was aware of

POST OPERATIVE - A letter carrier

URINE - Opposite of "You're out"

CAT SCAN - Search for kitty

CAUTERISE - Made eye contact with a girl

ENEMA - Not a friend

FIBULA - Small lie

GENITAL - Not a Jew

IMPOTENT - Distinguished

LABOUR PAIN - Getting hurt at work

PAP SMEAR - A fatherhood test

RECTUM - Darn near killed 'em

SEIZURE - A Roman emperor

TERMINAL ILLNESS - Getting sick at the airport

VARICOSE - Nearby