Chapter 45

Jiggs McDonald, NHL Hall of Fame broadcaster speaking in Ontario, says...

"I am truly perplexed that so many of my friends are against another mosque being built in Toronto. I think it should be the goal of every Canadian to be tolerant regardless of their religious beliefs.

Thus the mosque should be allowed, in an effort to promote tolerance. That is why I also propose that two nightclubs be opened next door to the mosque thereby promoting tolerance from within the mosque.

We could call one of the clubs, which would be gay, "The Turban Cowboy," and the other a topless bar called "You Mecca Me Hot." Next door should be a butcher shop that specializes in pork, and adjacent to that an open-pit barbecue pork restaurant, called " Iraq of Ribs."

Across the street there could be a lingerie store called " Victoria Keeps Nothing Secret," with sexy mannequins in the window modeling the goods. Next door to the lingerie shop there would be room for an adult sex toy shop, "Koranal Knowledge," its name in flashing neon lights, and on the other side a liquor store called "Morehammered."

All of this would encourage Muslims to demonstrate the tolerance they demand of us, so their mosque issue would not be a problem for others." Yes we should promote tolerance, and you can do your part by passing this on.

And if you are not laughing or smiling at this point ... It is either past your bedtime, or it's midnight at the oasis and time to put your camel to bed!

I was standing at the bar of the Southern Cross at Cooly Airport

when this small Chinese guy comes in,

stands next to me and starts drinking a beer.

I asked him, "Do you know any of those martial arts things,

like Kung-Fu, Karate or Ju-Jitsu?"

He says "No, why the fuck you ask me that?

Is it because I am Chinese?"

"No", I said,

"It's because you're drinking my beer, you little prick."