Chapter 445

Better be careful, this could happen to old guys!

Larry and Bob, two friends, met in the park every day to feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems. One day Larry didn't show up. Bob didn't think much about it and figured maybe he had a cold or something. But after Larry hadn't shown up for a week or so, Bob really got worried. However, since the only time they ever got together was at the park, Bob didn't know where Larry lived, so he was unable to find out what had happened to him.

A month had passed, and Bob figured he had seen the last of Larry, but one day, Bob approached the park and -- lo and behold -- there sat Larry! Bob was very excited and happy to see him and told him so. Then he said, "For crying out loud Larry, what in the world happened to you?

Larry replied, "I have been in jail."

"Jail!" cried Bob. "What in the world for?"

"Well," Larry said, "you know Jane, that cute little blonde waitress at the coffee shop where I sometimes go?"

"Yeah," said Bob, "I remember her. What about her?"

"Well, one day she filed rape charges against me; and at 89 years old, I was so proud that when I got into court, I plead guilty. The damn judge gave me 30 days for perjury."

RabbiRabbit hates getting shot at ... he really, really hates it. DO not shoot at RabbiRabbit.

Murphy's Rules of Combat

Friendly fire -isn't.

Recoilless rifles -aren't.

Suppressive fires -won't.

You are not Superman; Marines and fighter pilots take note. (I disagree, OORah!)

A sucking chest wound is Nature's way of telling you to slow down.

If it's stupid but it works, it isn't stupid.

Try to look unimportant; the enemy may be low on ammo and not want to waste a bullet on you.

If at first you don't succeed, call in an air strike.

The enemy attacks on two occasions: when he's ready and when you're not If you are forward of your position, your artillery will fall short All 5 second grenade fuses burn down in 3 seconds Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.

When your attack is going really well, its an ambush Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.

If your attack is going really well, it's an ambush. The enemy diversion you're ignoring is their main attack.

No plan ever survives initial contact.

There is no such thing as a perfect plan.

A retreating enemy is probably just falling back and regrouping.

The important things are always simple; the simple are always hard.

The easy way is always mined.

Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy other people to shoot at.

Don't look conspicuous; it draws fire. For this reason, it is not at all uncommon for aircraft carriers to be known as bomb magnets.

Never draw fire; it irritates everyone around you.

If you are short of everything but the enemy, you are in the combat zone.

When you have secured the area, make sure the enemy knows it too.

Incoming fire has the right of way.

No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection.

No inspection ready unit has ever passed combat.

If the enemy is within range, so are you.

The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.

Things which must be shipped together as a set, aren't.

Things that must work together, can't be carried to the field that way.

Radios will fail as soon as you need fire support.

Radar tends to fail at night and in bad weather, and especially during both.

Anything you do can get you killed, including nothing.

Make it too tough for the enemy to get in, and you won't be able to get out.

Tracers work both ways.

If you take more than your fair share of objectives, you will get more than your fair share of objectives to take.

When both sides are convinced they're about to lose, they're both right.

Professional soldiers are predictable; the world is full of dangerous amateurs.

Military Intelligence is a contradiction.

Fortify your front; you'll get your rear shot up.

Weather ain't neutral.

If you can't remember, the Claymore is pointed towards you.

Air defence motto: shoot'em down; sort'em out on the ground.

Flies high, it'll die; low and slow, it'll go.

The Cavalry doesn't always come to the rescue.