Chapter 44

Beer & Colonoscopy

It was my first time visiting Dr Putz for a colonoscopy. I went into his office for my first rectal exam.

His new blonde nurse, Evelyn, took me to an examining room. She told me to get undressed and have a seat until the doctor could see me. She said that he would only be a few minutes.

After putting on the gown that she gave me I sat down. While waiting I observed there were three items on a stand next to the exam table:

1. A Tube of K-Y jelly,

2. A rubber glove

3. And a beer

When Dr. Putz finally came in I said, "Look Doc, I'm a little confused. This is my first exam. I know what the K-Y is for, And I know what the glove is for, But can you tell me what the BEER is for?"

At that, Doctor Putz became noticeably outraged and stormed over to the door.

He flung the door open and yelled to his new blonde nurse, "Damn it, Evelyn! I said a BUTT LIGHT"

Why Condoms Come in Boxes of 3, 6, and 12!!!

A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?

To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called condoms son. Men use them to have safe sex."

"Oh I see," replied the boy pensively. "Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school."

He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, "Why are there 3 in this package?"

The dad replies, "Those are for high school boys, one for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday."

"Cool" says the boy. He notices a 6 pack and asks, "Then who are these for?"

"Those are for college men," the dad answers, "TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday, and TWO for Sunday."

"WOW!" exclaimed the boy, "then who uses THESE?" he asks, picking up a 12 pack.

With a sigh and a tear in his eye, the dad replied,"Those are for married men. One for January, one for February, one for March..."