Chapter 431

I was amazed to find myself behind a frog in the bank line this morning, First Niagara in Hamburg. We were both in the line of my favorite teller, Patrica Whack (who lives in Wilson). This is what happened. The frog's turn came and he approached the teller. He said, "Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."

Patty looked at the frog in disbelief and asked his name. The frog said his name was Kermit Jagger, son of Mick Jagger. He also mentioned that he is a close personal friend of the bank manager.

Patty explained that he would need to secure the loan with some collateral.

The frog said, "Sure. I have this," and produced a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explained that she would have to consult with the bank manager and disappeared into a back office.

She found the manager and said, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral." She held up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world IS this??!!!!"

The bank manager looked back at her and said, "It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

As we age, we tend to end up seeing more of the medical establishment.

For example, my family doctor referred me to a female urologist.

I saw her yesterday and she is gorgeous.

She's beautiful; big boobs, great figure and unbelievably sexy.

She told me that I have to stop masturbating.

I asked her why and she said, "Because I'm trying to examine you!"