Chapter 417

THE MAGIC BANK ACCOUNT

THE AUTHOR IS NOT KNOWN. IT WAS FOUND IN THE BILLFOLD OF COACH PAUL

BEAR BRYANT, ALABAMA, AFTER HE DIED IN 1982

The Magic Bank Account

Imagine that you had won the following PRIZE in a contest: Each morning your bank would deposit $86,400 in your private account for your use. However, this prize has rules:

The set of rules:

1. Everything that you didn't spend during each day would be taken away from you.

2. You may not simply transfer money into some other account.

3. You may only spend it.

4. Each morning upon awakening, the bank opens your account with another $86,400 for that day.

5. The bank can end the game without warning; at any time it can say,

"Game Over!". It can close the account and you will not receive a new one.

What would you personally do?

You would buy anything and everything you wanted right? Not only for yourself, but for all the people you love and care for. Even for people you don't know, because you couldn't possibly spend it all on yourself, right?

You would try to spend every penny, and use it all, because you knew it would be replenished in the morning, right?

ACTUALLY, This GAME is REAL...

Shocked??? YES!

Each of us is already a winner of this PRIZE. We just can't seem to see it.

The PRIZE is TIME

1. Each morning we awaken to receive 86,400 seconds as a gift of life.

2. And when we go to sleep at night, any remaining time is Not credited to us.

3. What we haven't used up that day is forever lost.

4. Yesterday is forever gone.

5. Each morning the account is refilled, but the bank can dissolve your account at any time WITHOUT WARNING...

SO, what will YOU do with your 86,400 seconds?

Those seconds are worth so much more than the same amount in dollars.

Think about it and remember to enjoy every second of your life, because time races by so much quicker than you think.

So take care of yourself, be happy, love deeply and enjoy life!

Here's wishing you a wonderful and beautiful day. Start "spending"...

"DON'T COMPLAIN ABOUT GROWING OLD... !"

SOME PEOPLE DON'T GET THE PRIVILEGE!

"Still A Virgin??"

A lawyer married a woman who had previously been married twelve times. On their wedding night they settle into the bridal suite at their hotel, and the bride says to her new groom,

"Please promise to be gentle; I'm still a virgin."

This puzzled the groom, since, after twelve marriages, he thought that at least one of her husbands would have been able to perform. He asked his new bride to explain this unlikely phenomena.

The bride responds...

My first husband was a Sales Representative.

He spent our entire marriage telling me, in grandiose terms,

"It's gonna be great!"

My second husband was from Software Services.

He was never quite sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he would send me the documentation.

My third husband was from Field Service.

He constantly said that everything was diagnostically "ok," but he just couldn't get the system up.

My fourth husband was from Educational Services.

He simply said, "Those who can ... do; those who can't ... teach."

My fifth husband was from the Telemarketing Department.

He said that he had the orders, but wasn't quite sure when he was going to be able to deliver.

My sixth husband was an Engineer.

He told me that he understood the basic process, but needed three years to research, implement and design a new state-of-the-art method.

My seventh husband was from Finance and Administration.

His comments were that he knew how, but he just wasn't sure whether or not it was his job.

My eighth husband was from Standards and Regulations.

He told me that he was up to the standards, but that regulations said nothing about how to do it.

My ninth husband was a Marketing Manager.

He said, "I know I have the product, I'm just not sure how to position it."

My tenth husband was a psychiatrist.

All he wanted to do was talk about it.

My eleventh husband was a gynecologist.

All he ever wanted to do was look at it.

My twelfth husband was a stamp collector.

All he ever wanted to do was ... Darn, I miss him!

SO, now that I have married a lawyer, I know

I'm finally going to get screwed!