Chapter 411

No one believes seniors ... Everyone thinks they are senile.

An elderly couple was celebrating their sixtieth anniversary. The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighborhood after they retired. Holding hands, they walked back to their old school. It was not locked, so they entered, and found the old desk they'd shared, where Jerry had carved I love you, Sally.

On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of an armored car, practically landing at their feet. Sally quickly picked it up and, not sure what to do with it, they took it home. There, she counted the money - fifty thousand dollars!

Jerry said, We've got to give it back.

Sally said, Finders keepers. She put the money back in the bag and hid it in their attic.

The next day, two police officers were canvassing the neighborhood looking for the money, and knocked on their door. Pardon me, did either of you find a bag that fell out of an armored car yesterday?

Sally said, No.

Jerry said, She's lying. She hid it up in the attic.

Sally said, Don't believe him, he's getting senile

The agents turned to Jerry and began to question him.

One said: Tell us the story from the beginning.

Jerry said, Well, when Sally and I were walking home from school yesterday...

The first police officer turned to his partner and said, Were outta here!

And Then:

Earl and Bubba are quietly sitting in a boat fishing, Chewing tobacco and drinking beer when suddenly Bubba says, "Think I'm gonna divorce the wife - she Ain't spoke to me in over 2 months."

Earl spits overboard, takes a long, slow sip of beer and says, "Better think it over ... women like that are hard to find."

This is compliments of the 'Shy One'

Bumper-Stickers Seenon Military Bases

• 101st Airborne Division-
"When it comes to Combat, care enough to send the very best"

• "When in doubt, empty the magazine".

• Sniper– "You can run, but you'll just die tired!"

• Machine Gunners – "Accuracy By Volume"

• "Except For Ending Slavery, Fascism, Nazism and Communism, WAR has Never Solved Anything."

• U.S. Marines – "Certified Counselors to the 72 Virgins Dating Club."

• U.S. Air Force – "Travel Agents To Allah".

• The Marine Corps – "When It Absolutely, Positively Has To Be Destroyed Overnight"

• "Death Smiles At Everyone – Marines Smile Back"

• "What Do I Feel When I Kill A Terrorist? A Little Recoil"

• "Marines – Providing Enemies of America an Opportunity To Die For their Country Since 1775"

• "Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Anyone Who Threatens It"

• "Happiness Is A Belt-Fed Weapon"

• "It's God's Job to Forgive Bin Laden – It was Our Job To Arrange The Meeting"

• "Artillery Brings Dignity to What Would Otherwise Be Just A Vulgar Brawl"

• "One Shot, Twelve Kills – U.S. Naval Gun Fire Support"

• "My Kid Fought In Iraq So Your Kid Can Party In College and Protest"

• "A Dead Enemy Is A Peaceful Enemy – Blessed Be The Peacemakers"

• "Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a difference in the world. But US Marines don't have that problem."