Chapter 40

A blind guy sits down in a diner and says to the waiter, "I'm sorry, but

I'm blind and I can't read the menu. So just bring me a dirty fork, I'll smell it, and order from there."

The waiter picks up a greasy fork, and hands it to the blind guy. The blind guy puts the fork to his nose,

breathes deep, and says, "Ah ... that's what I'll have ... meatloaf and mashed potatoes."

The waiter can't believe it, and he goes and tells his wife, Rose, who's the cook.

The next day the blind guy walks in and the waiter says, "I'll get you a dirty fork."

He gets a dirty fork, hands it to the blind guy, the blind guy smells it, and says, "That smells great. I'll take the macaroni and cheese with broccoli."

The waiter thinks the blind guy is screwing with him, so the next day when the blind guy walks in, he goes into the kitchen and says to his wife,

"Rose, rub this fork on your crotch." She does it, and then he goes out and hands it to the blind guy.

The blind guy puts the fork to his nose, takes a deep whiff, and says, "Hey, I didn't know Rose worked here!"

When I was young I decided I wanted to be a doctor.

So I took the entrance exam to go to medical school.

One of the questions asked us to rearrange the letters

PNEIS into the name of an important human body part

which is most useful when erect.

Those who answered spine are doctors today.

"The rest of us are sending jokes via email!"

Twelve Scottish Catholic priests were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to line up in a straight row, all proudly wearing their kilts, in a garden while a sexy, beautiful, big breasted, nude model danced before them.

Each priest had a small bell attached to his manhood, and they were told that anyone whose bell rang when she danced in front of them would not be ordained because he had not reached a state of spiritual purity.

The beautiful model danced before the first candidate with no reaction. She proceeded down the line with the same response from all the priests until she got to the final priest, Joseph. Poor Joseph. As she danced, his bell

began to ring so loudly that it flew off, clattering across the ground and came to rest in nearby foliage.

Embarrassed, Joseph quickly scrambled to where the bell came to rest. He bent over to pick it up ... and all the other bells started to ring.