Chapter 396

The Newfie Fisherman...

It was raining hard and a big puddle had formed in front of Toronto pub. An old man stood beside the puddle holding a stick with a string on the end and jiggled it up and down in the water. A curious gentleman asked what he was doing. 'Fishing, ' replied the old man. 'Poor old fool' thought the gentleman, so he invited the old man to have a drink in the pub. Feeling he should start some conversation while they were sipping their whisky, the gentleman asked, "And how many have you caught?''You're the eighth'.

These are compliments of Needle Noddle-noo

"I told my wife I had a living will: I do not wish to be fed liquids from a bottle and hooked to a machine. So she turned off the TV and threw away my beer.

--Bob Hipsley.

The Plot Against People".

Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories: those that don't work, those that break down[, ] and those that get lost. The goal of all inanimate objects is to resist man and ultimately to defeat him, and the three major classifications are based on the method each object uses to achieve its purpose...

As a general rule, any object capable of breaking down at the moment when it is most needed will do so.

Russell Baker - "The Plot Against People," The New York Times (1968-06-18).

This one is compliments of RabbiRabbit:

This is a story of self-control and marksmanship by a brave, cool-headed woman with a small pistol against a fierce predator.

She was asked, what is the smallest calibers that you would trust to protect yourself? A .25 caliber Beretta Jetfire, she answered! [A nice testimonial for the .25

Beretta Jetfire]. Here is her story in her own words:

"While out walking along the edge of a pond just outside of The Villages with my soon-to-be ex-husband discussing property settlement and other divorce issues, we were surprised by a huge

12-ft. alligator which suddenly emerged from the murky water and began charging us with its large jaws wide open. She must have been protecting her nest because she was extremely aggressive. If I had not had my little Beretta Jetfire .25 caliber pistol with me, I would not be here today!

"Just one shot to my estranged husband's knee cap was all it took. The 'gator got him easily and I was able to escape by just walking away at a brisk pace. It's one of the best pistols in my collection! Plus the amount I saved in lawyer's fees was really incredible!"