Chapter 384

This one is compliments of anonymous

Come shed a tear for poor Giddeon Glick, who was born to this world with a corkscrew prick,

HE spent his life in ceaseless hunt to find a girl with a spiral cunt.

And when he found her, he nearly dropped dead, for he found she had a Left Hand Thread.

These are compliments of winnie

A woman asked the pharmacist, "Do you sell

Viagra?"

"Yes," he answered.

She asked, "Does it work?"

"Yes," he answered.

She said, "Can you get it over the counter?"

"I can, if I take two," he replied.

Cockpit Announcement

Shortly after a British Airways flight had reached its cruising altitude, the captain announced: "Ladies and

Gentlemen, this is your captain. Welcome to Flight 293, non-stop from London Heathrow to New York. The weather ahead is good, so we should have an uneventful flight. So, sit back, relax, and ... OH MY GOD!"

Silence followed ... Some moments later, the captain came back on the intercom. "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry if I scared you. While I was talking to you, a flight attendant accidentally spilled coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!"

From the back of the plane, a passenger yelled

"For the love of God, you should see the back of mine!"

This one is compliments of Anonymous

A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine year old son in the closet.

One day the woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her lover in the closet, as well. Inside the closet, the little boy says, "It sure is dark in here, isn't it?"

"Yes it is," the man replies.

"Do you wanna buy a baseball?" asks the little boy.

"No, thank you," the man replies.

"I think you do wanna buy a baseball," the little extortionist continues.

After considering the position he's in, the man says, "Fine. How much?"

"Twenty-five dollars," the little boy replies.

"TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?!" the man repeats incredulously, but complies to protect his hidden position.

The following week, the lover is visiting the woman again when she hears a car in the driveway. Again, the woman places her lover in the closet with her little boy.

"It sure is dark in here, isn't it?" the littleboy starts off.

"Yes it is," the man replies.

"Do you wanna buy a baseball glove?" the little boy asks.

Realizing his disadvantage, the hiding lover replies, "Sure. How much?"

"Fifty dollars," the boy replies and the transaction is completed.

The following weekend, the little boy's father says "Hey, son. Go get your ball and glove and we'll play some catch."

"I can't. I sold them," the little boy replies.

"How much did you get for them?" asks the father, expecting to hear the profit in terms of trading cards and candy.

"Seventy-five dollars," the little boy says.

"SEVENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?!?That's thievery! I'm taking you to the church right now. You are going to confess your sin and ask for forgiveness," the father says as he hauls the child away. At the church, the little boy goes into the confessional, draws the curtain, sits down, and says, "It sure is dark in here, isn't it?"

"Don't you start that shit in here," the priest says!