Chapter 376

This compliments of Chris

Angus was dyin'. He asked for his good mate Jock to come to his bedside.

"Jock" he says, "Jock, you know that bottle of

21 year old malt whiskey that I promised ye we would have a wee taste..."

"Well when I am gone and I am put in the ground,

I want ye to promise me to pour that bottle over me coffin - will ye do that for me!"

"Aye " said Jock. "I would be mightly honoured to do that for ye".

"As an extra mark of respect I would like to strain it through me kidneys first"

These are compliments of RabbiRabbit and they are awful, really bad:

If you would run all of these at once I would be most grateful and you can even use the jokegasm line, as awful as it may be.

What's the difference between a little kid and a lesbian?

A little kid shouldn't run with scissors, and a lesbian shouldn't scissor with the runs.

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What would you call a Mexican quarterback?

El Paso.

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An old Norwegian couple lives on a cove at the north end of a lake in North Dakota. It's early winter and the southern portion of the cove's frozen over.

Alex says, "Lena, please won't you walk across the frozen part of the cove to the General

Store and get me some smokes and beer?"

She says, "Okay, but sure I will. Give me some money."

He says, "Nah, just put it on our tab. Old man Bachevich won't mind but at all."

Lena, a good wife, walks across the ice, gets the beer and the smokes and walks back home across the cove.

When she gets home she says, "Alex, you're always telling me not to run up the tab at

Bachavich's. Why didn't you just give me some money?"

He says, "Well, what I was thinkin', Lena, was I didn't want to send you out there with cash when I wasn't sure how thick the ice was."

"Heeelllppp!"

There's a scream from the bedroom, the husband runs in, and there's a guy jumping out of the window.

His wife says, "Whaa! That guy just fucked me twice!"

Her husband says, "Twice? Why didn't you call me in after he fucked you once?"

She says, "Because I thought it was you

... until he started for the second one."

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What should you do if your sister-in-law sits on your glasses and breaks them?

Next time remember to take them off first.

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Rosegarten says to his doctor, "Doc, you gotta help me. Every morning I wake up and fuck my wife.

I car pool with the neighbor's wife, and on the way to work she gives me a blow job. At the office, whenever I go into the copy room, I bang one of the interns. At lunch, I take my secretary to a hotel and fuck her in her ass, because that's the way she likes it. During the afternoon coffee break, I fuck the boss's wife. Then I go home and the maid either sucks my cock or bends over so I can give it to her doggie style. And then at night, I fuck my wife again."