Chapter 364

If you are a Canadian you will appreciate this...

A guy is walking along Whyte Avenue when he comes across a lamp partially buried in a garbage can.

He picks up the lamp and gives it a rub.

A genie appears and tells him he has been granted one wish.

The guy thinks for a moment and says, "I want to live forever."

"Sorry," said the genie, "I'm not allowed to grant eternal life."

"OK, then, I want to die after the Liberals balance the budget and eliminate the debt."

"You crafty little bastard," said the genie.

80 YEAR OLD'S PHYSICAL

An 80 year old man goes for a physical. All of his tests come back with normal results.

The doctor says, "Ron, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally?

Are you at peace with God?"

Ron replies, "God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so He's fixed it so when I get up

in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof! The light goes on.

When I'm done, poof! The light goes off."

"Wow, that's incredible," the doctor says.

A little later in the day, the doctor calls Ron's wife. "Penny," he says, "Ron is doing fine! But I had to call you because I'm in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night, and poof! the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he's done, poof! the light goes Off

"Oh sweet Jesus!", exclaims Penny. "He's pissin' in the refrigerator again!"