Chapter 338

A platoon of soldiers was marching north of Kandahar when they came upon an Afghani terrorist, badly injured and unconscious. On the opposite side of the road was a Canadian soldier in a similar but less serious state.

The soldier was conscious and alert and as first aid was given to both men, the Platoon Leader asked the injured Canadian what had happened.

The soldier reported, 'I was heavily armed and moving north along the highway here, and coming south was a heavily armed insurgent. We saw each other and both took cover in the ditches along the road.

I yelled to him that Ayman Zawahiri (leader of Al-Qaeda) was a miserable, lowlife scum bag who got what he deserved.

He yelled back that Justin Trudeau is a privileged, bureaucratic dreamer, unrealistic, good-for-nothing, left wing dickhead who knows Bugger all about running a country.'

'So I said that Osama Bin Ladin dressed and acted like a frigid, mean-spirited Camel humping lesbian!'

He retaliated by yelling, 'Oh yeah? Well, so does Kathleen Wynne!'

'And, then there we were, in the middle of the road, laughing, shaking hands,

... when a truck hit us.'

This one is compliments of the Shy One

50 Shades of Grey for Seniors

Back and forth...

Back and forth...

In and out...

In and out...

A little to the right...

A little to the left...

She could feel the sweat on her forehead...

Between her breasts...

And, trickling down the small of her back...

She was getting near to the end.

He was in ecstasy with a huge smile on his face as his wife moved Forwards then backwards Forward then backward...

Again and again...

Her heart was pounding now...

Her face was flushed...

She moaned to groan louder...

Finally totally exhausted...

she let out a piercing scream...

"OK, OK, you smug bastard,

I can't parallel park. You do it!"