Chapter 327

This one is compliments of Anonymous

Two five-year-old boys are standing at the toilet to pee.

One says, ' Your thingy doesn't have any skin on it.'

I've been circumcised, the other one says.

What's that mean?

It means they cut the skin off at the end.'

How old were you when it was cut off?

'My mum said I was two days old.'

Did it hurt?

You bet it hurt. I couldn't walk for a year, '

This one is compliments of John & Beryl:

FLAWLESS MALE LOGIC...

Woman:

Do you drink beer?

Man: Yes

Woman:

How many beers a day?

Man:

Usually about 3 draft Bock beers

Woman:

How much do you pay per Draft Bock beer?

Man: $5.00 which includes a tip

(This is where it gets scary!)

Woman:

And how long have you been drinking?

Man:

About 20 years, I suppose

Woman:

So a Bock beer costs $5 and you have 3 Bock beers a day which puts your spending each month at $450. In one year, it would be approximately $5400 correct?

Man:

Correct

Woman:

If in 1 year you spend $5400, not accounting for inflation, the past 20 years puts your spending at $108,000, correct?

Man:

Correct

Woman:

Do you know that if you didn't drink so much Bock beer, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 20 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari?

Man:

Do you drink beer?

Woman:

No

Man:

Where's your Ferrari?

This one was Submitted by Schop:

There was a middle aged man who had been having daily migraine headaches every day for the past twenty years. He had been to numerous doctors about this, but none of them were able to fix the problem.

He finally found one doctor who was able to tell him the apparent problem. The doctor said his balls were pressing up against his spine, which was causing the problem. The solution was castration.

As it was a drastic solution, he spent several months contemplating the procedure. He was middle aged after all, and did not plan on any more children, and the migraines were getting worse, so he decided to get the operation.

After the operation the migraines went away.

Finally, feeling good about himself, he decided to go out and buy a new suit.

He went to the best tailor in town. Without measuring him, the tailor said he needed a 44 long. When questioned, the tailor said he had been doing this for over 30 years, so he had the eye for it.

When the man went to pick up the suit, it fit perfectly. The tailor then suggested some new shirts, 17 ½ neck and 35 sleeve. He also suggested some new undershorts, size 36.

The man said "No, I have always worn size 32."

The tailor responded, "If you wore a size 32, they would press your balls up against your spine and give you a headache!"