Chapter 31

Oldie but goodie Compliments of Lee ... And he is a Senior!!!!

Two old ladies are in the car. The passenger says to the driver: May-Bell, that is the third red light you've driven through without stopping.

May-Bell answers: Oh, wait-a-min ... am I driving?

Compliments of scg

While serving my final few days in the Army in Korea, I pulled duty as a temporary assistant to the Company Clerk. The Company Commander had been working his way through Officer Evaluation Forms for each of the Commissioned and Warrant Officers under his command.

I wound up typing the Operations Warrant Officer's Evaluation. I dutifully typed the little "x" in the block where the "old man" had marked this officer with the lowest marks he could assign.

When I flipped the form over to read the narrative evaluation, I could hardly contain myself as I read:

"The only reason that an enlisted soldier would follow this officer is out of idle curiosity."

The Cardiologist and the Honda Mechanic.

A Honda mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Honda when he spotted a well-known cardiologist in his shop.

The cardiologist was there waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his car when the mechanic shouted across the garage,

"Hey Doc, want to take a look at this?" The cardiologist, a bit surprised walked over to where the mechanic was working on the Honda.

The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked,

"So Doc, look at this engine. I opened its heart, took the valves out, repaired or replaced anything damaged, and then put everything back in, and when I finished, it worked just like new. So how is it that I make $24,000 a year and you make $1.7M when you and I are doing basically the same work?

The cardiologist paused, leaned over, and then whispered to the mechanic...

"Try doing it with the engine running."

Bringing a Drunk Home

A guy was in a bar about as drunk as it's possible to get.

A group of guys notice his condition and decide to be good samaritans and take him home.

First, they stand him up to get to his wallet so they can find out where he lives, but he keeps falling down.

He fell down eight more times on the way to the car, each time with a real thud.

After they get to his house, he falls down another four times getting him to the door.

His wife comes to the door, and one guy says, "We brought your husband home."

The wife asks, "Where's his wheelchair?"