Jokes and Giggles
Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt
Chapter 304
This one is compliments of Chuck ... It is easy to see where his political leanings are
ONLY 4 TICKETS LEFT!
I have four extra tickets for the Robbie Knievel (son of Evil Knievel) event at Cardinal's Stadium next weekend in Glendale AZ, if anybody wants them.
Robbie is going to try to jump over 1,000 Obama supporters with a Caterpillar D-9 bulldozer.
Should be a good time!
For those who understand, no explanation is needed.
For those who do not understand, no explanation is possible.
This one is compliments of dripp
Sierra Club Proposal
The Sierra Club and the U. S. Forest Service were presenting an alternative to the Wyoming ranchers for controlling the coyote population.
It seems that after years of the ranchers using the tried and true method of shooting or trapping the predators, the Sierra Club had a "more humane" solution to this issue.
What they were proposing was for the animals to be captured alive. The males would then be castrated and let loose again.
This was ACTUALLY proposed by the Sierra Club and by the U. S. Forest Service.
All of the ranchers thought about this amazing idea for a couple of minutes.
Finally an old fellow wearing a big cowboy hat in the back of the conference room stood up, tipped his hat back and said,
"Son, I don't think you understand our problem here. These coyotes aren't fuckin' our sheep; they're eatin' 'em!"
The old man got a standing ovation.
The meeting never really got back to order.
The IRS has returned the Tax Return to a man in New Jersey after he apparently answered one of the questions incorrectly. In response to the question, "Do you have anyone dependent on you?"
The man wrote: "9.5 million illegal immigrants, 1.1 million crackheads, 3.4 million unemployable scroungers,
80,000 criminals in over 85 prisons plus 650 idiots in Washington and the entire group that call themselves Politicians."
IRS stated that the response he gave was unacceptable.
The man's response back was, "Who did I leave out?"
This one is compliments of Dorsetmike
A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. "But officer," the man began, "I can explain".
"Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back..."
"But officer, I just wanted to say..." "And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!"
A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you that the chief is at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."
"Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell. "I'm the groom."
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