Chapter 295

Here are a few groaners from Dorsetmike

Did you hear about the Italian chef that died?
He pasta way

No matter how much you push the envelope
It'll still be stationery

It's not that the man did not know how to juggle
He just didn't have the balls to do it

England has no kidney bank
But it does have a Liverpool

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles
U. C. L. A.

What's the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo?
One is really heavy the other is a little lighter

I got a new job in a sexual health clinic
I'm here at your cervix

This one is compliments of Chuck:

Conundrum

A gun is like a parachute. If you need one, and don't have one, you'll probably never need one again.

The definition of the word Conundrum is: something that is puzzling or confusing.

Here are six Conundrums of socialism in the United States of America :

1. America is capitalist and greedy - yet half of the population is subsidized.

2. Half of the population is subsidized - yet they think they are victims.

3. They think they are victims - yet their representatives run the government.

4. Their representatives run the government - yet the poor keep getting poorer.

5. The poor keep getting poorer - yet they have things that people in other countries only dream about.

6. They have things that people in other countries only dream about - yet they want America to be more like those other countries.

Think about it! And that, my friends, pretty much sums up the USA in the 21st Century. Makes you wonder who is doing the math.

These three, short sentences tell you a lot about the direction of our current government and cultural environment :

1. We are advised to NOT judge ALL Muslims by the actions of a few lunatics, but we are encouraged to judge ALL gun owners by the actions of a few lunatics.

Funny how that works. And here's another one worth considering...

2. Seems we constantly hear about how Social Security is going to run out of money. But we never hear about welfare or food stamps running out of money? What's interesting is the first group "worked for" their money, but the second didn't.

Think about it ... and Last but not least :

3. Why are we cutting benefits for our veterans, no pay raises for our military and cutting our army but we are not stopping the payments or benefits to illegal aliens.