Jokes and Giggles

A Cornish joke!

An American photographer on holiday was inside a church in Plymouth taking photographs when he noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read '£10,000 per call'

The American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what the telephone was used for.

The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for £10,000 you could talk to

God.

The American thanked the priest and went along his way.

Next stop was in Exeter ... There, in the

Cathedral, he saw the same golden telephone with the same sign under it. He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in Plymouth and he asked a nearby Vicar what its purpose was. She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for £10,000 he could talk to God.

'O.K., thank you ma'am, ' said the American.

He then travelled to Torquay, Paignton, Exmouth,

Tiverton and Brixham. In every church he saw the same golden telephone with the same '£10,000 per call' sign under it. The American, upon leaving

Devon decided to travel to Cornwall to see if the

Cornish had the same phone.

He arrived in Truro, and again, in the Cathedral, there was the same golden telephone, but this time the sign under it read '50 pence per call.'

The American was surprised so he asked the Bishop about the sign. 'Bishop, I've travelled all over

Devon and I've seen this same golden telephone in many churches. I'm told that it is a direct line to heaven, but in Devon the price was £10,000 per call. Why is it so cheap here?'

The Bishop smiled and answered, 'You're in

Cornwall now my son. It's a local call".

We all need a Tree

I hired a plumber to help me restore an old farmhouse, and after he had just finished a rough first day on the job: a flat tire made him lose an hour of work, his electric drill quit and his ancient one ton truck refused to start.

While I drove him home, he sat in stony silence. On arriving, he invited me in to meet his family. As we walked toward the front door, he paused briefly at a small tree, touching the tips of the branches with both hands.

When opening the door he underwent an amazing transformation ... His face was wreathed in smiles and he hugged his two small children and gave his wife a kiss.

Afterward he walked me to the car. We passed the tree and my curiosity got the better of me. I asked him about what I had seen him do earlier.

'Oh, that's my trouble tree, ' he replied 'I know I can't help having troubles on the job, but one thing's for sure, those troubles don't belong in the house with my wife and the children ... So I just hang them up on the tree every night when I come home and ask God to take care of them. Then in the morning I pick them up again.' 'Funny thing is, ' he smiled, ' when I come out in the morning to pick 'em up, there aren't nearly as many as I remember hanging up the night before.'