Chapter 29

Another one compliments of Jerry...

THE HILLBILLY VASECTOMY...

After their 11th child, a Kentucky couple decided that was enough, as they could not afford a larger bed.

So the husband went to his veterinarian and told him that he and his cousin didn't want to have any more children.

The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem but that it was expensive.

' A less costly alternative, ' said the doctor,

'is to go home, get a cherry bomb, (fireworks are legal in Kentucky) light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to your ear and count to 10.

''

The Kentuckian said to the doctor, 'I may not be the smartest tool in the shed, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me. '

"Trust me, ' said the doctor.

So the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count!

"1"...

"2"...

"3"...

"4"...

"5"...

(you'll love this)

At which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs and continued counting on his other hand.

New Senior's Exam, you only need 4 correct out of

10 questions to pass.

1) How long did the Hundred Years' War last?

2) Which country makes Panama hats?

3) From which animal do we get cat gut

4) In which month do Russians celebrate the

October Revolution?

5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?

6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?

7) What was King George VI's first name?

8) What color is a purple finch?

9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?

10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane?

Remember, you need only 4 correct answers to pass.

Check your answers below...

ANSWERS TO THE QUIZ

1) How long did the Hundred Years War last? 116 years

2) Which country makes Panama hats? Ecuador

3) From which animal do we get cat gut? Sheep and

Horses

4) In which month do Russians celebrate the

October Revolution? November

5) What is a camel's hair brush made of? Squirrel fur

6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal? Dogs

7) What was King George VI's first name? Albert

8 ) What color is a purple finch? Crimson

9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from? New

Zealand

10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane?

Orange (of course)

What do you mean, you failed?

Me, too!

(And if you try to tell me you passed, you LIED!)

Compliments for Jim:

Oldie-but-goodie:

Three old guys are out walking.

First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?'

Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!'

Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer... '