Jokes and Giggles

These are compliments of Piet from the land down under

Johnnie and Anita were just back from their honeymoon. As they were preparing to go back to work Johnnie wanted to talk.

'Anita' het said 'be a dear and go upstairs and fetch my work pants.' Being just married Anita was quite prepared to do as Johnnie asked and came down with a pair of heavy duty pants that Johnnie wore during his construction job.

'Well' Johnnie said, "put m on.' 'But Johnnie, they are far to large' Anita complained.

'Put'm on anyways, I want to prove something.' So Anita did as Johnnie asked and put the pants on and stood there holding up the pants with her little hands.

'Let go of the pants' Johnnie demanded.

As Anita let go of the pants, they fell immediately on the floor.

"See' Johnnie said, 'these pants do not fit you.

He put them on himself and not surprising they fitted.

'This goes to show' Johnnie said full of shit and righteous zeal 'this proves that I wear the pants in this house, and what I say goes.' Anita appeared to be properly put in het place, but asked: 'Johnnie be a dear, and get a pair of my panties from upstairs.

Johnnie complied, just back from the honeymoon and having put the little lady in het place.

'Put'm on' Anita asked.

As Johnnie started to take his pant on Anita interrupted:

'Keep those pants on Johnnie!'

'But Anita, there is no way I can get into these panties with my pants on!'

'Well' Anita said 'that goes to show, that as long as you are wearing these pants, you won't be getting mine.'

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And another one about this happy couple

Johnnie and Anita were 25 years married and they celebrated the happy event in a very upscale restaurant.

'Anita, please tell me' Johnnie asked 'have you always been faithful during these years?'

'Absolutely'' Anita exclaimed. 'And when I wasn't it was for you!'

'Thanks, I think' Johnnie said a bit put down.

"can you enlarge on that?' ' Sure' sais Anita.

'Remember the time you wanted to start your own business? There was no bank what was willing to extend a loan. Suddenly a banker came along with all the papers and you only needed to sign?' As Johnnie agreed, Anita went on.

'Well that was me! and remember you needed an operation and were way down on the waiting list?

Suddenly you were way on top.' 'That was me too!' 'Thanks Johnnie said, overwhelmed by these surprises.

'And' Anita said, 'remember when you wanted to be president of the local chamber of Commerce?' Johnnie could remember the occasion.

'You got voted in!' Anita said triumphantly. 'And you were only 25 votes short!'