Chapter 283

Irish Mirror

After living in the remote countryside of Ireland all his life, an old Irishman decided it was time to visit Dublin.

In one of the stores, he picks up a mirror and looks into it.

Not ever having seen a mirror before, he remarked at the Image staring back at him.

"How 'bout that!" he exclaims, "Here's a picture of my Fadder."

He bought the mirror thinking it was a picture of his dad, but on the way home he remembered his wife didn't like his father, so he hung it in the shed, and every morning before leaving to go fishing, he would go there and look at it.

His wife began to get suspicious of his many trips to the shed.

So, one day after her husband left, she went to the shed and found the mirror.

As she looked into the glass, she fumed, "So that's the ugly bitch he's running around with."

Female Medical Exam

During a lady's medical examination, the doctor says, "Your heart, lungs, pulse, and blood pressure are all fine. Now let me see the part that gets you ladies into all kinds of trouble."

The lady starts taking off her clothes but is interrupted by the doctor.

"No! No! Just stick out your tongue!"

This one is compliments of Chuck

What Part of Your Body Goes to Heaven First?

The nun teaching Sunday School was speaking to her class one morning and she asked the question, "When you die and go to Heaven, which part of your body do you think goes first?"

Suzy raised her hand and said, "I think it's your hands."

"Why do you think it's your hands, Suzy?"

Suzy replied, "Because when you pray, you hold your hands together in front of you and God just takes your hands first."

"What a wonderful answer!" the nun said.

Little Johnny raised his hand and said "Sister, I think it's your feet."

The nun looked at him with the strangest look on her face. "Now Johnny, why do you think it would be your feet?"

Little Johnny said, "Well, I walked into Mommy and Daddy's bedroom the other night. Mommy had her legs straight up in the air and she was saying, 'Oh God, I'm coming.' I gotta tell you, if Dad hadn't pinned her down, we'd have lost her."

The Nun fainted.