Chapter 274

Men's Thoughts For The Day

The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your house you can be in a robe, before you start looking like a mental patient.

I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters ... Do they just give you a bra and say, "here fill this out"... ?

The speed in which a woman says "nothing" when asked "What's wrong?" is inversely proportional to the severity of the crap storm that's coming...

Denny's has a slogan, "If it's your birthday, the meal is on us." But if you're in Denny's and it's your birthday ... your life sucks!

On average, an American man will have sex two to three times a week; whereas a Japanese man will have sex only one or two times a year ... This is upsetting news to me ... I had no idea I was Japanese.

I can't understand why women are okay that J.C. Penny has an older women's clothing line named, "Sag Harbor."

I think it's pretty cool how Chinese people made a language entirely out of tattoos.

When I die I want to be reincarnated as a spider, just so I can finally hear a women say "Oh my God, it's huge."

This short comment is compliments of Gary

Someone told me about a new word that they heard. It's 'Exhaustipated': Meaning just too tired to give a shit!

P.S. MS Word doesn't recognize it yet!!!

This one is compliments of Argon

Those poor blondes...

Annual meeting of the NAB (National Alliance of Blondes) in Vegas. Blonde delegates from all over the US and even from sister organizations around the world spend three days discussing the unfair reputation blondes have and the stereotyping they have to suffer from. The last evening, however, is dedicated to having some fun and excitement in the ballroom of the convention hotel. There is music, there is comedy (no blonde jokes!), and there is a quiz show.

The MC greets the first candidate, Miss Emma-Mae Dubois from South Carolina. The first questions are designed to show off the candidates' math skills, so he starts with a simple one.

"Miss Dubois, a simple addition first. What is 2 plus 2?"

"That would be 5!" Miss Dubois answers with a dazzling smile.

"Umh, that is a wrong answer I'm afraid."

The blondes in the ballroom begin to chant, "One more chance, one more chance, one more chance!"

The MC relents. "All right, Miss Dubois, let's try multiplication. What is 2 times 2?"

"Ah, that would be 5?" Miss Dubois answers with a confused smile.

"So sorry, wrong again!"

The blondes in the ballroom begin to chant again, "One more chance, one more chance, one more chance!"

The MC relents with a deep sigh. He has an idea though.

"Miss Dubois, what is 2 times 2 plus 1?"

"Umh, 5?" Miss Dubois almost whispers.

The blondes in the ballroom explode. "One more chance, one more chance, one more chance!"