Chapter 257

Li'l Willy from Rocky Lanark County

A Lanark school teacher asked her students to make a sentence containing the expression "I presume."

One little girl held up her hand and said, "Yesterday my mother hand-washed the dinner dishes and I presumed that the dishwasher was broken."

"Very good," said the teacher.

Another one said, "This morning, my father drove the Volkswagen out of the garage. I presume that the truck wouldn't start."

"That's excellent," says the teacher.

Little Willy at the back of the classroom got up and said, "Yesterday I saw grandpa leave the house with a newspaper under his arm and headed for the woods, I presume that"

The teacher interrupted him and said, "I stopped you because you have no idea what your grandfather was going to do, so you can't presume anything."

Willy said, "Please, Teacher, let me finish my sentence.

The teacher said, "Very well. Continue."

"As I was saying, I saw my grandpa heading for the woods with a newspaper under his arm.

I presume he was going for a shit because he can't read."

This one is compliments of Rrrosco

Q: Did you hear about the great new restaurant on the moon?

A: The food is excellent, but there's no atmosphere.