Chapter 253

A teacher asks her class, 'If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?'

She calls on little Louie.

He replies, 'None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot.'

The teacher replies, 'The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.'

Then little Louie says, 'I have a question for YOU.'

There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream:

One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream.

The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone.

The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.

Which one is married?'

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, 'Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.'

To which Little Louie replied, 'The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on, but I like your thinking.'

This one is compliments of Lea

Yearly Dementia Test -- only 4 questions

It's that time of year for us to take our annual senior citizen test. Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's important to keep mentally alert. If you don't use it, you lose it!

Below is a very private way to gauge how your memory compares to the last test. Some may think it is too easy, but the ones with memory problems may have difficulty.

Take the test presented here to determine if you're losing it or not. The spaces below are so you don't see the answers until you've made your answer.

OK, relax, clear your mind and begin.

1. What do you put in a toaster?

Answer: 'bread.' If you said 'toast' give up now and do something else ... Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, bread, go to Question 2.

2. Say 'silk' five times. Now spell 'silk.' What do cows drink?

Answer: Cows drink water. If you said 'milk, ' don't attempt the next question. Your brain is overstressed and may even overheat. Content yourself with reading more appropriate literature such as Auto World. However, if you said 'water', proceed to question 3.

3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?

Answer : Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said 'green bricks, ' why are you still reading these??? If you said 'glass, ' go on to Question 4.

4. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus. In Reading, 6 people get off the bus and 9 people get on. In Swindon, 2 people get off and 4 get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In Swansea, 3 people get off and 5 people get on. In Carmathen, 6 people get off and 3 get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven...

Without scrolling back to review, how old is the bus driver?

Answer : Oh, for crying out loud! Don't you remember your own age? It was YOU driving the bus!!! (Go back and look!)

If you pass this along to your friends, pray they do better than you.

PS: 95% of people fail most of the questions!!

OK ... Or just go have another glass of wine ... Nothing will matter in a few hours ... And you will definitely NOT be driving the bus!!