Chapter 241

Ahhhhh the wisdom of the ages.

A female CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Western Wall to pray, twice a day, every day, for a long, long time.

So she went to check it out. She went to the Western Wall and there he was, walking slowly up to the holy site.

She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave, using a cane and moving very slowly, she approached him for an interview.

"Pardon me, sir, I'm Rebecca Smith from CNN. What's your name?"

"Morris Feinberg," he replied.

"Sir, how long have you been coming to the Western Wall and praying?"

"For about 60 years."

"60 years! That's amazing! What do you pray for?"

"I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews and the Muslims.
I pray for all the wars and all the hatred to stop.
I pray for all our children to grow up safely as responsible adults and to love their fellow man.
I pray that politicians tell us the truth and put the interests of the people ahead of their own interests."

And finally "I pray that everyone will be happy".

"How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?"

"Like I'm talking to a fucking wall"

Confucius Say...
Kiss is merely shopping upstairs,
For merchandise downstairs.

Confucius Say.
Better to lose a lover
Than love a loser.

Confucius Say.
Man with broken condom
Often called Daddy

Confucius Say.
Sex is same as bank account.
You put it in, you take it out ... you lose interest.

Confucius Say.
Viagra just like Disneyland...
One hour wait for 5 minute ride.

Confucius Say.
Much better to want the mate you do not have
Than to have the mate you do not want.

Confucius Say.
Joke is like sex.
Neither any good if you don't get it.

This one is compliments of Harry

A very dapper older Italian gentleman comes in to Granny's Whorehouse, A very dignified and well-appointed place outside of Las Vegas.

He asks for their best girl, and flashes a wad of bills. Granny sends him up to see Brenda--end of the hallway, on the right.

Up he goes and there is Brenda. She's in a Fredericks of Hollywood bustier, thigh high stockings and heels, and not much else.

"You gooda girl. I'm Guido. We gonna have fun," he says in heavily accented English.

He takes off his jacket, folds it neatly, his vest, unties his tie and removes his shirt. Removes his shoes and socks. His pants and underwear are next.

Brenda is watching with some amusement, sprawled out on the bed.

He heads for the bed (and Brenda) but at the last moment heads back to the chair where all his clothes are. From his pocket, he removes: a condom and two cotton balls.

He puts the condom on his member, and then tears the cotton balls into four parts. One for each nostril and one for each ear.

Brenda can't stand it anymore and just has to ask: "What are you doing?"

"There's-a only two tings I cannot stand-a," Guido answers. "The smell-a of burning rubber and the screams of a woman."