Chapter 232

-- YOUR AGE BY CHOCOLATE MATH

ITS FUN TIME IT ACTUALLY WORKS BOB

Y our age by Chocolate Math

This really works but don't ask me how.

Don't tell me your age;

you'd probably lie anyway,

but the Hershey Man will know! ****

YOUR AGE BY CHOCOLATE MATH

This is pretty neat.

DON'T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST!

It takes less than a minute.

Work this out as you read.

*Be sure you don't read the bottom until you've worked it out!

This is not one of those waste of time things, *

it's fun.

1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to have chocolate (more than once but less than 10)

2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold)

3. Add 5

4. Multiply it by 50 -- I'll wait while you get the calculator

*5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1765...

If you haven't, add 1764. *

6 ... Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.

You should have a three digit number

The first digit of this was your original number

(i.e., how many times you want to have chocolate each week).

The next two numbers are

YOUR AGE.!!

-- Oh YES, it is... !! --

/THIS IS THE ONLY YEAR (2015) IT WILL EVER WORK, /

/SO SPREAD IT AROUND WHILE IT LASTS. /****

/Chocolate //Calculator /

A SCOTSMAN'S FIRST BASEBALL GAME!

A Scotsman moves to North America and attends his first baseball game.

The first batter approaches the batters' box, takes a few swings, then hits a double.

Everyone is on their feet screaming "Run!!!"

The next batter hits a single.

The Scotsman listens as the crowd again cheers "RUN!! RUN!!".

The Scotsman is enjoying the game and begins screaming with the fans.

The fifth batter comes up and four balls go by,

The Umpire calls: "Walk."

The batter starts his slow trot to first base.

The Scot stands up and screams, "Run ye lazy bastard, run!"

The people around him begin laughing.

Embarrassed, the Scot sits back down.

A friendly fan notes the man's embarrassment, leans over and explains, "He can't run -- he has four balls."

The Scot stands up and screams: "Walk with pride, Laddie!"

Murphy's job application

Murphy applied for a fork lift operator post at a famous Irish firm based in Dublin.

A Norwegian applied for the same job and since both applicants had similar qualifications, they were asked to take a test and led to a quiet room with no interruptions by the Manager.

When the results were in, both men had scored 19 out of 20.

The manager went to Murphy and said, "Thank you for coming to the interview, but we've decided to give the Norwegian the job."

Murphy,... "And why would you be doing that? We both got 19 questions correct. This being Ireland and me being Irish surely I should get the job."

Manager, "We have made our decision not on the correct answers, but on the question you got wrong."

Murphy, "And just how would one incorrect answer be better than another?"

Manager "Simple; on question number 7 the Norwegian wrote down,

'I don't know.'

You put down, 'Neither do I.'"

Shocked

Michigan State Police announced the discovery of an arms cache of 200 semi-automatic rifles, along with 250,000 rounds of ammunition, 10 anti-tank missiles, 4 grenade launchers, two tons of heroin, $12 million in cash, and a ring of 14 prostitutes, all in a housing project behind the Detroit Public Library.

Detroit folks were stunned. A community organizer said, "We is shocked.

We never knowed we had a library."