Chapter 219

A mother and little boy are visiting the zoo. They pass by the elephant enclosure when suddenly the elephants walk out into the open. The little boy says to his mother, "What's that?"

"That's the elephant's tail," she replies.

"No, under the tail," says the youngster.

The mother is clearly embarrassed and says, "Oh, that's nothing." She quickly leads him away.

Some time later, the boy is taken to the zoo by his father, and as they pass the elephant enclosure the child points again and asks his dad: "What's that?'

His father looks and says, "That's the elephant's penis, son."

"But mother said it was nothing!" said the boy.

The father smiles, draws himself up to his full height and says, "Son, I've spoiled that woman."

Two Priests

They were determined to make this a real vacation

by not wearing anything that would identify them

as clergy. As soon as the plane landed they headed

for a store and bought some really outrageous shorts,

Shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc.

The next morning they went to the beach dressed in their 'tourist' garb.

They were sitting on beach chairs, enjoying a drink, the sunshine and the scenery when a 'drop dead gorgeous' topless blonde came walking straight towards them ... They couldn't help but stare.

As the blonde passed them she smiled and said, 'Good Morning, Father Good Morning, Father, ' nodding and addressing each of them individually. Then she passed on by. They were both stunned. How in the world did she know they were priests?

So the next day, they went back to the store and bought even more outrageous outfits.

Once again, in their new attire, they settled down in their chairs to enjoy the sunshine. After a little while, the same gorgeous topless blonde came walking toward them. Again she nodded at each of them and said, 'Good morning, Father Good morning, Father, ' and started to walk away.

One of the priests couldn't stand it any longer and said, 'Just a minute, young lady.'

'Yes, Father?'

'We are priests and proud of it, but I have to know, how in the world did you know we are priests, dressed as we are?'

She replied,

'Father, it's me, Sister Kathleen...

This is not Politically Correct, I wonder Why???

Read any good books lately?

I was walking through the mall in Portland and I saw that there was a Muslim bookstore. I was wondering what exactly was in a Muslim bookstore so I went in.

As I was wandering around taking a look, the clerk stopped me and asked if he could help me.

I imagine I didn't look like his normal clientele, so I asked, "Do you have a copy of Donald Trump's book on his U.S. Immigration Policy regarding Muslims and illegal Mexicans?"

The clerk said, "Fuck off, get out and stay out!"

I said, "Yes, that's the one. Do you have it in paperback?"