Chapter 203

MARIJUANA AND MARRIAGE

Smile for the day!

For those who haven't heard, Washington State recently passed two laws. They legalized gay marriage and legalized marijuana. The fact that gay marriage and marijuana were legalized on the same day makes perfect Biblical sense.

Leviticus 20:13 says: "If a man lies with another man they should be stoned". Apparently we just hadn't interpreted it correctly before!

Toronto Woman Shot In Her Own Driveway...

Linda Plews, 26, a resident of Toronto was visiting her in-laws and, while there, went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries. Later, her husband noticed her sitting in her car in the driveway with the windows rolled up and her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head. He became concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that Linda's eyes were now open and she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied that she had been shot in the back of the head and had been holding her brains in for over an hour.

Her husband called the police and the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her head. When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread dough on the back of her head. A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head. When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains.

She initially passed out, but quickly recovered.

Linda is a blonde, a Trudeau supporter and a die-hard Maple

Leafs fan, but that could all be a coincidence...

This one is from Chuck...

A State Trooper was patrolling late at night off the main highway.

At nearly midnight, he sees a couple in a car, in lovers' lane, with the interior light brightly glowing.

He carefully approaches the car to get a closer look. He sees a young man behind the wheel, reading a computer magazine.

He immediately notices a young woman in the rear seat, filing her fingernails.

Puzzled by this surprising situation, the trooper walks to the car and gently taps on the driver's window.

The young man lowers his window. "Uh, yes, Officer?"

The trooper asks: "What are you doing?"

The young man says: "Well, Officer, I'm reading a magazine."

Pointing towards the young woman in the back seat, the trooper asks: "And what is she doing?"

The young man shrugs: "Sir, I believe she's filing her fingernails."

Now, the trooper is totally confused: A young couple, alone, in a car, at night in a lover's lane and nothing inappropriate is happening!"

The trooper asks: "What's your age, young man?"

The young man says: "I'm 22, sir."

The trooper asks: "And how old is she?"

The young man looks at his watch and replies: "She'll be 18 in 11 minutes."

This one is compliments of Chuck and others ... so I am posting it.

I am sorry that I have not been very responsive lately to your e-mails. I have been somewhat under the weather since my doctor informed me that I have an acute case of Post Islamic Stress Trauma with Apologetic Whitehouse Fatigue (PIST-AWF). For those of you who do not know what that is, PIST-AWF is a newly defined disease that is found to be widespread and highly contagious. January, 2015 - Doctors at the CDC released a statement disclosing a new disease that has already infected over half of the United States and is anticipated to continue to spread. The disease itself affects the cells of a person's entire body, then goes dormant. The disease ravages the body and leaves serious side effects. These side effects have been labeled as PIST-AWF. Symptoms include: Severe pain of the scalp from pulling your own hair while viewing your president pander to Muslim terrorists. Uncontrollable heartburn at 8:00 PM during the O'Reilly factor. Loose bowels from swallowing the fact we elected Obama ... twice. Extreme hunger due to vomiting from nightly seeing terrorists murdering innocent people. Bleeding from the eyes. This is not Ebola. It is your eyes reacting to accidentally flipping to a channel that shows Al Sharpton as a legitimate news-show host. Since the disease consumes the entire body, every infected person is then identified as the disease itself. If you feel you have Post Islamic Stress Trauma with Apologetic White house Fatigue, please notify your local election board and place your name on the list for a cure. It is expected, and sincerely hoped, that the cure will be available in November 2016.