Chapter 200

This is a marketing story by George, yes these people do walk the earth and vote...

MARKETING GENIUS

True story.

Went to a major grocery chain store today to buy among other things, a mop bucket. Had no problem finding mops, brooms, whisk brooms, dust pans et.al. No buckets. I managed to flag down a store manager of all people and asked him where I could find a mop bucket. I was NOT very politely informed they do not stock mop buckets.

"But you have mops"

"We don't stock mop buckets"

Just then I spotted a stack of buckets a couple of aisles over in a corner of the highest shelf.

"What are those?"

"Buckets"

"You might sell more if they were by the mops"

"They are not MOP buckets"

"Do you mind if I buy one to use for a mop bucket?"

He said as he walked away, "I don't care what you use it for."

This one is compliments of mike

Hi, don't know where this one came from if it's already been featured here ignore it.

After their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough, as they could not afford a larger bed.

So the husband went to his veterinarian and told him that he and his cousin didn't want to have any more kids.

The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem but that it was expensive.

'A less costly alternative, ' said the doctor, 'is to go home, get a cherry bomb, (fireworks are legal in Alabama) light it, put it in a beer can

(COORS), then hold the can up to your ear and count to 10.

'The Alabamian said to the doctor, 'I may not be the smartest tool in the shed, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to ear is going to help me.

''Trust me, ' said the doctor.

So the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count!

"1"

"2"

"3"

"4"

"5"

(you'll love this.)

At which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs and continued counting on his other hand.

This procedure also works in Tennessee, Kentucky,

Louisiana, Arkansas,

Mississippi, Parts of Georgia, Missouri, West

Virginia,

Western Maryland and All of Washington DC...

Most of the Maritimes. parts of Quebec, Ontario and Manitoba.

This one is compliments of Chuck ... enjoy

The Penis Poem

My nookie days are over,

My pilot light is out,

What used to be my sex appeal is now my water spout!

Time was when, on its own, from my trousers it would spring.

But now it's just a full time job to find the fuckin thing!

It used 2 b embarrassing the way it would behave.

For every single morning it would stand & watch me shave!

Now as olds age approaches, it sure gives me the blues,

to see it hang its little head & watch me tie my shoes!