Chapter 20

Where to go for lunch

A group of golfers, all in their 4-'s, discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Hooters because the waitresses were young, good looking, had big breasts and wore short-shorts.

Ten years later, at age 5-, the golf buddies once again discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Hooters because the food and service was good, they had many televisions to watch the games on, and the beer selection was excellent.

Ten years later, at age 6-, the group again discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Hooters because there was plenty of parking, they could dine in peace, and it was good value for the money.

Ten years later, at age 7-, they discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Hooters because the restaurant was wheelchair accessible and had a toilet for the disabled.

Ten years later, at age --, the friends discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Hooters because they had never been there before:

Compliments of Mouse.

The will

An old man is on his deathbed and knows the end is near. His nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons, are with him.

He asks for 2 witnesses to be present and a camcorder be in place to record his last wishes, and when all is ready he begins to speak:

"My son, Bernie, I want you to take the Mayfair houses." My daughter "Sybil, you take the apartments over in the east end."

"My son, Jamie, I want you to take the offices over in the City Centre."

"Sarah, my dear wife, please take all the residential buildings on the banks of the river."

The nurse and witnesses are blown away as they did not realize his extensive holdings, and as he slips away, the nurse says,

"Mrs. Smith, your husband must have been such a hard-working man to have accumulated all this property".

Sarah replies, "Property? ... the asshole had a paper route!"

Little Johnnie Story

Class Assignment

The teacher says, "Class, today's assignment is to spell and use the word 'DOUGH' in a sentence.

Jane, you go first."

"Dough, D O U G H, Italians make pizza with dough."

"Very good Jane ... Now let's hear from Mary."

"Dough, D O U G H. My brother makes things with

Play Dough."

"Very good Mary."

"Yes, Johnny, do you have something constructive to add?"

"My mom says my dad doesn't make enough dough and he's bloody hopeless in bed ... so she uses a dill dough!"

A man very sick with the flu, called his DR. for an appointment.

The receptionist gave him one three weeks later.

He was horrified, "I could be dead in three weeks."

The receptionist told him to be sure to tell his wife to cancel or he would be charged.

What do you get when you play a country music record backwards?

You get your truck, dog, and silverware back.

Don't ya just love country music?

You know why lawyers always wear ties?"

"No,"

"To keep the foreskins from sliding up over their faces."