Chapter 192

The other day I went over to a nearby Walmart Pharmacy.

When I got there, I went straight to the back of the store to where the Pharmacists' Counter is located.

I took out my little brown bottle along with a teaspoon and laid them both onto the counter.

The pharmacist came over smiled and asked if he could help me.

I said, "Yes! Could you please taste this for me?"

Being I'm a senior citizen ... I guess the Pharmacist just went along with me.

He picked up the spoon and put some of the liquid on his tongue and swilled it around.

Then with a stomach-churning look on his face he spit it out on the floor and began coughing.

When he finally was finished, I looked him right in the eye asked, "Now, does that taste sweet to you?"

The pharmacist, shaking his head back and forth with a venomous look in his eyes yelled, "HELL NO!!!"

So I said, "Oh thank God! That's a real relief! My doctor told me to get a pharmacist to test my urine for sugar!"

Well, I can never go back to that Walmart now, but I really don't care though, because; they aren't very friendly there anyway!!!

This group is compliments of Chuck

Confidence

A fighter pilot walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman.

He gives her a quick glance then casually looks at his new Apple watch for a moment.

The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"

No," he replies, "I just got this state-of-the-art Apple watch, and I was just testing it."

The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?"

The pilot says, "It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically."

The lady says, "What's it telling you now?"

Well, it says you're not wearing any panties."

The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!"

The fighter pilot smirks, taps his watch and says, "Damned thing must be an hour fast."

And that, my friends ... is Confidence!

At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 9-year-old baseball players aside and asked, "Do you understand what co-operation is? What a team is?"

"Yes, coach", quietly replied the little boy.

"Do you understand that what matters is whether we win or lose together as a team?"

The little boy nodded in the affirmative.

"So", the coach continued, "I'm sure you know, when an out is called you shouldn't argue, curse, attack the umpire, or call him a pecker-head, dickhead or asshole. Do you understand all that?"

Again, the little boy nodded in the affirmative.

The coach continued, "And when I take you out of the game so that another boy gets a chance to play, it's not a dumb ass decision ... or that the coach is a shithead. Is it?"

"Uhhh, Nossir. Um, Coach. Sir."

"Good", said the coach. "Now go over there and explain all that to your grandmother."