Chapter 188

At the end of the tax year, the IRS sent an inspector to audit a local hospital.

While the agent was checking the books, he turned to the CEO of the hospital and said, "I notice you buy a lot of bandages." What do you do with the end of the roll when there's too little left to be of any use?

"Good question," noted the CEO. "We save them up and send them back to the bandage company, and every once in a while they send us a free roll."

"Oh," replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer. But on he went in his obnoxious way, "What about all these plaster purchases? What do you do with what's left over after setting a cast on a patient?"

"Ah, yes," replied the CEO, realizing that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question. "We save it and send it back to the manufacturer, and every so often they send us a free bag of plaster."

"I see," replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all CEO.

"Well, what do you do with all the remains from the circumcision surgeries?"

"Here, too, we do not waste," answered the CEO. "What we do is save all the little foreskins and send them to the IRS office, and about once a year they send us a complete prick."

This is compliments of Paul

Professor Higgins at the University of Sydney was giving a lecture on 'Involuntary Muscle Contraction' to the first year medical students.

This was not an exciting subject and the professor decided to lighten up the mood.

He pointed to a young woman in the front row and asked, 'Do you know what your arsehole is doing while you're having an orgasm?'

She replied, 'probably golfing with his mates.'

It took 45 minutes to restore order in the classroom.

This one is compliments of Chris

SHOW ME THE WAY TO GO HOME

Show me the way to go home
I'm tired and I wanna go to bod
Oh, I had a little drink about an hour ago
And it went right to my head
Wherever I may roam
On land or sea or foam
You can always hear me singing this song
Show me the way to go home

This is the current explanation...

Indicate the way to my abode
I'm fatigued and I want to retire
I had a spot of beverage sixty minutes ago
And it went right to my cerebellum
Wherever I may perambulate
On land or sea or atmospheric vapour
You can always hear me crooning this melody
Indicate the way to my abode.