Chapter 178

Two bears were sitting at the side of the river near Ottawa. The smaller bear turned to the bigger one and said, 'I can't understand how you can be so much bigger than me. We're the same age; we were the same size as cubs. I just don't get it.'

'Well, ' said the big Bear, 'what have you been eating?'

'Politicians, same as you, ' replied the small Bear.

'Hmm. Well, where do you catch them?'

'Down near the parking lot by the Parliament Buildings.'

'Same here. Hmm. How do you catch them?'

'Well, I hide under one of their Lexus cars and wait for one to unlock the car door.Then I jump out, grab them by the leg, shake the shit out of them and eat 'em!'

'Ah!' says the big Bear, 'I think I see your problem.

You're not getting any real nourishment. See, by the time you finish shaking the shit out of a Politician, there's nothing left but an asshole and a briefcase.'

This one is compliments of david

Grandma and Grandpa were visiting their kids overnight.

When Grandpa found a bottle of Viagra in his son's medicine cabinet, he asked about using one of the pills.

The son said, "I don't think you should take one Dad; they're very strong and very expensive."

"How much?" asked Grandpa. "$10. a pill," answered the son.

"I don't care," said Grandpa, "I'd still like to try one, and before we leave in the morning, I'll put the money under the pillow."

Later the next morning, the son found $110 under the pillow. He called Grandpa and said, "I told you each pill was $10, not $110.

"I know," said Grandpa. "The hundred is from Grandma!"