Chapter 165

Irish Confession:

'Father', he confessed, 'it has been one month since my last confession. I had sex with Nookie Green twice last month.' The priest told the sinner, 'You are forgiven. Go out and say three Hail Mary's.'

Soon thereafter, another Irish man entered the confessional. 'Father, it has been two months since my last confession. I've had sex with Nookie Green twice a week for the past two months.' This time, the priest questioned, 'Who is this Nookie Green?' 'A new woman in the neighborhood, ' the sinner replied. 'Very well, ' sighed the priest. 'Go and say three Hail Mary's.'

At mass the next morning, as the priest prepared to deliver the sermon, a tall, voluptuous, drop-dead gorgeous redheaded woman entered the sanctuary. The eyes of every man in the church fell upon her as she slowly sat down right in front of the priest. Her dress was green and very short, and she wore matching, shiny emerald-green shoes. The priest and the altar boy gasped as the woman in the green dress and matching green shoes sat with her legs spread slightly apart, but just enough to reveal that she wasn't wearing any underwear. The priest turned to the altar boy and whispered, 'Is that Nookie Green?'

The altar boy couldn't believe his ears but managed to calmly reply, 'No Father, I think it's just a

reflection from her shoes... '

This one is compliments of Chuck.

A COWBOY FROM MONTANA cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.

'Have you ever done anything of particular merit?' St. Peter asked

.'Well, I can think of one thing, ' the cowboy offered. 'On a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota,

I came upon a gang of bikers who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her

alone, but they wouldn't listen. So, I approached the largest and most tattooed biker and smacked

him in the face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground. I yelled,

'Now, back off or I'll kick the shit out of all of you!

St. Peter was impressed, 'When did this happen?''

"Couple of minutes ago."