Chapter 163

An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned to her and said, "Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, "What would you want to talk about?"

"Oh, I don't know," said the atheist. "How about why there is no God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death?" as he smiled smugly.

"Okay," she said. "Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns

Out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?"

The atheist, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea." To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss God, Heaven and Hell, or life after death, when you don't know shit?"

And then she went back to reading her book.

Psychology 101

First you start with a cage containing four monkeys. Inside the cage hang a banana on a string from the top. Then you place a set of stairs under the banana and before too long a monkey will go to the stairs and climb toward the banana. Then ALL the monkeys are sprayed with cold water. After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with same result

As soon as he touches the stairs, you spray ALL the monkeys with cold water. Pretty soon, when one monkey tries to climb the stairs, the others will try to prevent it.

Now, put the cold water away.

Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new monkey.

The new monkey sees the banana and attempts to climb the stairs.

To his shock, ALL of the other monkeys beat the crap out of him.

After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs he will be assaulted.

Next, remove another of the original four monkeys, replacing it with a new monkey. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked.

The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm -- because he is now part of 'the team'.

Then, replace a third original monkey with a new monkey, then similarly followed by a fourth. Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs, he is attacked. Now, the monkeys that are beating him up have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs. Neither do they know why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey.

Finally, having replaced all of the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys will have ever been sprayed with cold water.

Nevertheless, not one of the monkeys will try to climb the stairway for the banana.

Why, you ask?

Because in their minds, that is the way it has always been!

This is how today's Canadian Senate operates ... and that is why, from time to time, ALL of the monkeys need to be

REPLACED AT THE SAME TIME!

Disclaimer: This is in no way meant to be disrespectful to monkeys.

In the great days of the British Empire, a new commanding officer was sent to an African jungle outpost to relieve the retiring colonel.

After welcoming his replacement and showing the usual courtesies (gin and tonic, cucumber sandwiches etc) which protocol decrees, the retiring colonel said, "You must meet my Adjutant, Captain Smithers, He's my right-hand man and is really the strength of this office. His talent is simply boundless."

Smithers was summoned and introduced to the new CO, who was surprised to meet a hunchback, one eyed, toothless, hairless, scabbed and pockmarked specimen of humanity, a particularly unattractive man less than three feet tall. "Smithers, old man, tell your new CO about yourself."

''Well, sir, I graduated with the Sword of Honour from Sandhurst, joined the regiment and won the Military Cross and Bar after three expeditions behind enemy lines. I've represented Great Britain in equestrian events and won a Silver Medal in the horse riding part of the Olympics. I have researched the history of..."

At that point, the colonel interrupted, "Yes, yes, never mind that Smithers, he can find all that in your file. Tell him about the day you told the witch doctor to f****k off."

For everyone who still remembers the day the music died, this will be a very enjoyable video.

I have listened to the words to American Pie for many years and I thought I understood everything that was being sung. However, when the words are put together with pictures and film clips the song takes on a new meaning. It took a lot of thought to produce this. Sure brings back lots of memories. Very well done. http://youtu.be/VhX3b1h7GQw