Chapter 141

The Broken Mower

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the truck, the car, playing golf - always something more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.

When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."

The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

Moral to this story : Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is the husband.

This one is compliments of chuck

A pastor's wife was expecting a baby, so he stood

before the congregation and asked for a raise. After much

discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the pastor's family expanded so would his paycheck.

After 6 children, this started to get expensive and

the congregation decided to hold another meeting to discuss the

pastor's expanding salary. A great deal of yelling and inner bickering

ensued, as to how much the pastor's additional children were costing the church, and how much more it could potentially cost.

After listening to them for about an hour, the pastor rose from his

chair and spoke, "Children are a gift from God, and we will take as many gifts as He gives us."

Silence fell over the congregation.

In the back pew, a little old lady struggled to stand, and finally said in her frail voice, "Rain is also a gift from God, but when we get too much of it, we wear rubbers."

The entire congregation said, "Amen."