Chapter 106

New Flash as reported by John, the First Earl of Ucolta.

P.S. I was saddened to hear, the other day of the passing of Grandfather Rabbit of Everett Mountain (Died of old age), it is reported that he is survived by his six widows, one hundred and seventy children, 2295 grandchildren, 1262 great grand children, with a further 10 litters on the way (confirmed) & 578 great great grand children.

These are compliments of John, the First Earl of Ucolta

I went to the races. My spirits were high.
Not a happier soul, nor more hopeful than I.
When I picked out my winner, how was I to know,
That a horse with no jockey would do all my dough?

I'd been studying form and I worked it all out,
The horse I was on was a 'good thing', NO DOUBT!
I took quite a plunge, for the odds were just great,
But a horse with no jockey, is sure under-weight!

Soon the barrier rose, and I cheered with delight,
For my number was there and was doing 'ALL RIGHT'!
But when rounding the bend, she was rammed and she fell,
And the horse bid her jockey, a hurried farewell.

BUT then ... Quick as a flash ... the mare she arose!
And believe it or not, set out on her toes,
And chased after the field, which she slowly caught up,
And a horse with no jockey went after the cup.

The crowd cheered with delight, as they galloped it out,
With her bridle all lose, it was just a plain rout!
And when they got to the finish, you could knock me stone dead,
For a horse with no jockey, was ten lengths ahead!

Now I ought to have cheered, as she finished in style,
But the truth of it was, I could not raise a smile,
Though she ran a great race, I had done all my tin,
For a horse with no jockey, gets no weighing in!

I went to the races. My spirits were high.
Not a happier soul, nor more hopeful than I.
When I picked out my winner, how was I to know,
That a horse with no jockey would do all my dough?

Drover's Dream

One night when travelling sheep,
my companions lay asleep,
There was not a star to illuminate the sky,
I was dreaming, I suppose,
for my eyes were nearly closed,
When a very strange procession passed me by...

First there came a kangaroo,
with his swag of blankets blue,
A dingo ran beside him for a mate,
They were travelling mighty fast,
and they shouted as they passed,
"We'll have to jog along, it's getting late".

The pelican and the crane,
they came in from off the plain,
To amuse the company with a Highland Fling,
The dear old bandicoot,
played a tune upon his flute,
And the native bears sat round them in a ring.

The drongo and the crow,
sang us songs of long ago,
While the frill-necked lizard listened with a smile.
And the emu standing near,
with his claw up to his ear
Said, "Funniest thing I've heard for quite a while".

The frogs from out the swamp,
where the atmosphere is damp,
Came bounding in and sat upon the stones,
They each unrolled their swags,
and produced from out their bags,
The violin, the banjo and the bones.

The goanna and the snake,
and the adder wide awake,
With the alligator danced "The Soldier's Joy",
In the spreading silky oak,
the jackass cracked a joke,
And the magpie sang "The Wild Colonial Boy".

Some brolgas darted out,
from the tea-tree all about,
And performed a set of Lancers very well.
Then the parrot green and blue,
gave the orchestra its cue
To strike up "The Old Log Cabin in the Dell."

I was dreaming, I suppose,
of these entertaining shows,
But it never crossed my mind I was asleep,
Till the Boss beneath the cart,
woke me up with such a start,
Yelling, "Dreamy, where the hell are all the sheep?"