Chapter 2

my life is over my life is over my life is over my life is over my life is over my life is over my life is over Morning. 7:45. My parents are already up. Coffee's probably on. My alarm's gonna go off in 5 minutes. My mom's gonna wake up Cody in 10 minutes. He'll actually get up in 20. I fucked my sister 7 hours ago. We're gonna have to ride in the same car to school for 10 minutes in half an hour. I'm going to have to look at her. She's going to see me. We might even make eye contact. I fucked my sister 7 hours ago. I came inside her. She could be fucking PREGNANT. AT FOURTEEN. WITH HER BROTHER. I'm going to jail. I'm going to hell. I fucked my sister 7 hours ago. Maybe everything's already fucked. Maybe Cammi is telling my parents what happened last night. Maybe she already did. No, why would she? Even if she was pissed at me she wouldn't tell anyone to screw me over, she'd be ruining her own life just as much. Almost as much. How do you know she wouldn't? You think she's the level-headed girl you thought she was yesterday? She had you fuck her last night. This morning actually. Whatever. She reads your internet history. She watches porn. She broke her hymen on fucking purpose. Her hormones are clearly wack. You are clearly fucked.

What if she's not mad but she's scared? You came inside her. She could be pregnant. PREGNANT. SHE'S FOURTEEN. What if she doesn't know what to do and she talked to your parents crying and in hysterics? Wouldn't you? You just entered high school and your life could already be over. The girl everyone thought was so perfect and pure walking around school with a growing belly. At fourteen. Mom! Dad! What do I do?

What if she never woke up. What if you actually fucked her unconscious and she's still lying there with your cum seeping out of her pussy and Mom walks in and sees her like that? What a joke. You're a virgin. Were. You didn't fuck someone so good they actually passed out. Get over yourself. But what if I hit her head on the wall? What if she just fell asleep like that? Same thing. Mother walks in to check on daughter. She's buck naked and leaking semen. Jail. Hell. Life over.

7:46.

My head was still swimming when my alarm went off. I slammed my clock instantly. I was exhausted and it felt like could sleep for a week, but I was too stressed out. Way too stressed out. My mind was working on overdrive for seven hours. My body was functioning on pure adrenaline. I was scared to move quickly. I was scared to do anything. I had been like this ever since I nutted early this morning and actually understood what I had just done. As alert and tense as I had been this whole morning, I couldn't quite remember what happened after I had cum inside my sister, but I did remember leaving her abruptly and unceremoniously on her bed, my seed still dribbling out of her young pussy. My brain wasn't working. I panicked so hard I just left herHOLY SHIT DID I EVEN CLOSE HER DOOR?!

I jumped off my bed and bounded over to my door in less time than it takes to blink. I opened it and almost bowled over Cammi herself, who was standing right outside my room.

"Cammi?" I said in blank surprise. She was taken aback too. She had her hand out like she was about to open my door just before I yanked it open myself. I was about to stutter something panicked or apologetic before she gently pushed me back into my room and put a finger to her lips, hushing me up with an urgent "Shhh!"

She calmly but swiftly closed my door as I stood there dumbly watching her. She was all dressed and ready to go to school. No eyebags. No disheveled hair or clothes. Like nothing ever happened.

I opened my stupid mouth and blurted out, "Cammi I am so-"

Cammi turned with a quick "Shhhh!" again. "What's wrong with you?" she asked in an urgent whisper. "You want Mom to hear you? She could come wake Cody up any minute."

She was right. So I closed my agape mouth and just stood there in my boxers. Staring dumbly at her. Cammi wasted no time breaking the silence.

"We really need to talk about what happened," she said.

I was going to say something in agreement but only managed to raise my eyebrows.

"Not right now," she continued, "Later. I just wanted to tell you before school. 'Cause, you know, you kind of freak out about stuff a lot."

I was going to laugh. Then I was going to agree. Then I was going to say "no I don't." Then I was going to exhale with relief.

I just shook my head like a giant retarded bobblehead. I think my mouth was hanging open again.

"Did ... did you sleep last night?" she asked.

The words in my brain turned into mush before they reached my mouth. All I managed was, "You're ... mad?"Wow. Dude, you're ... you're just ... you are fucking retarded.

"I'm mad? What?"

"Not mad. I mean. Not mad?"Caveman talk good. Use many words.

"No I'm not mad. Even though you just left me there with the door hanging wide open-"

"OH MY GOD I'M SO-"

"SHHHHH!" Cammi actually put her hand over my mouth this time. "Shut up Jord!"

I looked at her with eyes like a deer caught in headlights and glanced over at the door. She did the same and dropped her hand from my mouth and sighed.

"Seriously stop freaking out. I'm fine." She looked at me with a frown and 10 times more composure than I had.

"You're gonna miss breakfast if you don't get dressed," she said bluntly. "And brush your teeth, your breath smells really bad."

Cammi left my room and gave me a glance that said "you better hurry" before she closed the door behind her. I continued to stand there stupidly in my boxers for another minute. I couldn't believe what just happened. Not only did Cammi not have the FBI arrest me, she looked and acted like nothing was wrong. Like I didn't just creampie her and leave her for dead in full view of anyone who wanted a late night snack a few hours ago. And she had her shit way more together than me. I felt enormous relief and soon after enormous shame. Not only did I take advantage of a young vulnerable girl to pop my cherry, but that girl was my sister. And to top it all off, she was handling it a hundred times better than me. But still, I felt a lot better. My mind stopped racing. The adrenaline stopped pumping. My mouth stopped hanging.

And then it all hit me at once. I was dead tired. I couldn't stay awake another minute. My knees wanted to fold. My eyes wanted to close. And I was STARVING.

I did as Cammi said and freshened up. I saw my reflection in the bathroom mirror as I brushed my teeth. I could carry groceries in the bags under my eyes. I put on extra deodorant instead of showering and threw on the first T-shirt and jeans I saw. By the time I was dressed I had yawned so much I was tearing up. I shuffled my way downstairs and perked up just long enough to inhale two eggs and some cereal before going back into zombie mode. I got into the car before Cammi or Cody and fell asleep the moment I buckled up. When we got to school Cammi practically pushed me out the door I was so dead.

I slept through every class that day. In half the classes the teachers angrily yelled at me to wake up. Ms. Pelletier did it three times. Four maybe. I don't know, but it was enough for her to threaten me with detention, and Ms. Pelletier fucking loved me. In the other half of the classes I woke up at end of period to feel random shit slip off the back of my head. Pencils, empty pop cans, rulers. My classmates wouldn't waste an opportunity to take advantage of my exhaustion. I woke up mid-lunch with two straws up my nose. When I hopped on my computer at home later that day I saw pictures circulating among my friends on Facebook.

By the end of the school day I had slept through classes enough to be completely fucked because I didn't learn shit but also enough to not nod off every time I stopped moving. I talked with my friends at the pickup spot and spotted Cammi a bit further away talking with her friends. If we walked somewhere a bit further this would be a good time and place to have that talk she mentioned this morning, but I decided not to force it. God knows this shit's gonna be awkward when it happens, why rush it?

When my mom pulled up a few minutes later and Cammi and I piled in, we were greeted by Cody gleefully bragging about how he got perfect on a spelling test. Cammi and I congratulated him and asked him to spell different words the entire ride home. Cammi asked him to spell a made up word and everyone laughed as he struggled to comply. I pinched his cheek and he giggled and pulled away. It really was just like any other day.

We got home and I made a beeline for my computer like usual. I started downloading the new releases of my favorite anime and manga and checked my Facebook. I was in the middle of perusing the different pictures of me with straws up my nostrils when I noticed Cammi sign onto Skype on the corner of my screen.That's weird, she's almost never online on any messenger unless she wants to talk to someone about something.No sooner had the thought crossed my mind when I saw message popups climb the corner of my screen.

~Camille~ says: heyCamille~ says: dont start watching stuff or playing pokerCamille~ says: and make sure theres a lot of cash in your wallet What?

I was about to respond when I saw her messages get quickly deleted one by one. Then I heard the sound of Cammi's footsteps as she walked past my room and downstairs. A few minutes later heavier footsteps came back up. Then someone knocked on my door.

My mom stepped in. "Jordan you're not doing anything right now, right?"

I shook my head and said, "No."

"Great," she replied. "Can you go with Camille to Superstore and pick up a few things?"

"Now?" I asked. "Won't Dad do the groceries on his way home?"

"Yes but Camille wants me to teach her how to bake cupcakes before your father gets home. We're low on baking powder so if we're going to buy more might as well do the groceries while we're there. Or do you expect Camille to carry all those bags the whole way back?"

"The whole way back? From the garage to the kitchen?"

"Oh I'm not driving you two. You can just walk."

"What? What happened to 'whilewe'rethere'?"

"By we I meant you and Camille," she said cheekily. "I have to write some emails but I should be done by the time you get back. It's only 5 minutes away anyway, you could use the exercise."

"Are you saying I'm fat?" I retorted with false offense.

"Yes," she countered in total deadpan.

"Oh."

"Camille's waiting for you," my mom said with a lilt in her voice as she left my room.

I remembered what Cammi had said in her message and made sure I had over 200 bucks in cash before I headed downstairs.I'll be paying for the groceries by credit card anyway, so $200 should be more than enough for whatever Cammi's after, right?As I went to the front door I saw Camille leaning against the wall waiting for me.

"Cupcakes, huh?" I asked as I slipped on my shoes.

"Yeah. Something wrong with cupcakes?"

"No. As long as you don't burn them."

"Because you haven't loved everything I've ever cooked or baked, right?"

"Fair enough."

We'd been walking in silence for about a minute when I decided to bite the bullet.

"So ... you made up this cupcake reason to give us time to talk with no one around right?"

"Uh ... no," she answered, "I really do want to make cupcakes. But that too."

"Killing two birds with one stone, eh?"

"Three, actually."

"Three? What's the third bird?"

"You'll see when we get there," she replied coolly.Uh oh. She's gonna blackmail me to buy her something expensive isn't she? What could she possibly want in the Superstore that Mom or Dad wouldn't buy for her?

We walked for another 30 seconds or so before I bit the bullet again.

"Soooooo..." I blurted.

"Yeah," Cammi said softly.

"About last night..." I continued awkwardly.

"I can't believe you ejaculated inside me," she said bluntly.

"Oh my God Cammi I am so, SO sorry."

"That's how you get pregnant, you know? I have periods too, if you didn't know. I really can get pregnant."

Holy shit holy shit holy shit. I'm such a bastard. What have I fucking done?

"I have no idea what's wrong with me," I pleaded. "I ... I just ... I can't believe I did that."

"I can't believe I did that either."

"Yeah and you're so young. And I took advantage of you and ... I'm sorry." I put my face in my hands and groaned.

"I'm sorry too. I don't know what came over me. That's how you get STD's too! Like, I know we probably don't have any, but still we..."

Another beat of silence.

"You didn't take advantage of me," Cammi said reassuringly.

I gave her a disbelieving look before saying, "Yeah I did. You're-"

"If you wanna be hard on yourself then do it for ejaculating in me. But you didn't take advantage of me. I asked you to fuck me. I told you to fuck me. It's not- what?" She noticed me cringing.

"It ... feels weird to hear you use that kind of language," I explained.

"I'm fourteen, Dad," she responded, "and I'm not a big pottymouth like you are. It's just easier to say than 'have sex with me.'"

"And ... ejaculate?"Hooh, why am I continuing this topic of conversation? Talking about this kind of stuff with Cammi feels so weird.

... Really dude? Weirder than sticking your dick in her? ... Okay. And giving her a creampie? OKAY.

"Isn't that the right word?" Cammi asked.

"It is, I guess, but there are a thousand other words you could use. Words that areeasier to say," I said with attitude, like I was disappointed in this pubescent girl for not being a thesaurus of raunchiness. "You said you watch porn? Did they really say, 'OH GOD I'M EJACULATIIIIIIIIIING!'"

"Oh my God shut up! People will hear you! And I'm sorry I didn't take notes, Professor Horndog."

"Professor Horndog. Wow. That's the best you can do, eh?"

"Whatever. So what are these easier words I'm missing out on?"

"Cum, jizz, cream, there's a bunch." I felt my face getting hot. I was starting to feel a little less awkward talking about this with Cammi the way I was but it was still hella weird. "Usually cum though."

"Come? Like, come here?"

"Yeah, except spelled C-U-M. Past tense is still came though."

"That's weird."

"You know I think I thought the same thing when I first heard it too, but I'm kinda used to it now."

We were walking into the Superstore's parking lot now so we spoke a little more quietly, but that didn't stop the banter.

"You're used to it now?" A small grin slowly appeared on Cammi's face. "You make it sound like you're an expert on sex. I'm pretty sure I wasn't the only virgin last night."

"That's true. But I'm a guy. I really know my shit."

"Yeah? Did you learn it from those little girl sex comics? No wonder you were all over me last night."

I was definitely full on blushing at this point. "Uh ... yeah sorry. But that's why I should stick to the comics right? And why you shouldn't make fun of me for it! I've got urges you know?"

"Oh I do know," Cammi said smoothly as we walked through the sliding doors. "I felt your -urges- inside me."

Aaaaaaand I wanna kill myself again. Man how hard did I fuck this up oh she's smiling. It was a joke. Ha. Ha ha. No.

"Too soon, Cammi," I said sadly, "and I'm sorry again."

"Well that's why you're going to make it right. How much money did you bring?"

"Cash? Like 200."

"Wow. That's plenty."

"Plenty for what?"

"Where's the pharmacy?"

I pointed over to the far corner of the supermarket and she led the way over there.

"Okay," Cammi said confidently, "youare going to go over there and look for something called Plan B. It's a pregnancy pill and it's supposed to be really expensive."Oh. Oh shit. That's what the cash is for. So this doesn't have to show up on the credit card receipt. Yeah, make things right. I definitely owe her at least this much. Man fuck I can't believe I did this to her.

"Okay," I said solemnly.

"And I don't know what condoms are good or not but just buy a bunch of those too."

Wait what?

"Wait, what?"

"Some condoms. Whatever brand you think is good. I trust you."

Something wasn't clicking. I looked her dead in the eyes like I was trying to figure out the meaning of life right then and there for what must have been a year before...

"You want to ... I thought that was it," I said. "Like one and done. You actually want to..."

"Didn't you like it?"

"No. I mean yeah. Yeah. I loved it. I mean, apart from being traumatized because I thought I killed you and then wanting to kill myself and not sleeping or even blinking all night."

"Then don't get traumatized. I told you I wasn't mad," my little sister said. "Well, too mad. We already went this far, why would we stop?"

"Um, for starters, the first time was a fucking disaster and I came inside you-"

"Can you stop. Saying stupid things. So stupidly loudly?!" Cammi snapped.

I swiveled my head around like a periscope to see if anyone heard my idiotic outburst but thankfully no one was near or looking our way.

"Look," Cammi said, "just go to the pharmacy and buy the stuff with the cash. I'll start getting the groceries."

My heart was pounding 10 times a second. Out of fear or panic or excitement, I don't know. Probably a combination of all three.

"It's gonna be so embarrassing though," I realized out loud. "An underage teenage boy buys a morning after pill and a box of condoms? That's like telling the pharmacist straight up that I'm having underage sex and fucked up, but I want to continue with protection."

"Isn't that the exact situation?"

"Yeah, but..."

"But what?"

"Why don't you do it?" I asked with a shit-eating grin.

"You're older. And you're a guy. It's 100 times more embarrassing for me if I do it," Cammi said forcefully. "Youcame insideme.You owe me."

I winced. She was absolutely right.

"Just come find me somewhere in the produce area when you're done. Oh and Jord, last night may have been a fucking disaster," this underage vixen said as she tiptoed up to whisper in my ear, "but at least it was fucking."

I instantly pitched a tent and watched her as she traipsed down the aisle. She didn't even look at me as she said that last part.The little cocktease. Where did she learn that? Definitely not altar serving. She's probably just a natural seductress. Oh boy, yeah, seductress! She's 14 you sick fuck! Whatever. I already sold my soul to the devil. I felt bad because I thought I destroyed my beloved sister, but she's obviously got more grit than me and she wants us to keep on keeping on, so I am all. Fucking. Aboard.

I sat on a nearby chair and waited for my boner to go limp. I bit my knuckle as I watched Cammi walk further away. She really was something. Barely into her teens and not only did she handle her first time oodles better than her older brother, but she figured out what to do next on her own. She made up an excuse to fix a fucked up situation the same day it happened, and killed two, sorry, three birds with one stone. She didn't freak out. She didn't get scarred for life.And somehow, she knows how to get the heart racing. How to tease. She's going to break hearts when she's older.

Oh God she's going to break MY heart. I already know how naughty she is at just 14, when she has boyfriends at 16 just thinking about it is gonna kill me. I'm gonna know, oh man I'm gonna know what she's doing every time she leaves the house. Oh God not my little Cammi. Seriously, dude? You're 16 and you're gonna get a daughter complex over your little sister? Who you're gleefully planning to plug? How is that going to turn out, by the way? She's your sister, you moron. You live in the same house. You're gonna go the rest of your life popping boners every time you see her at the dinner table and frantically trying to find opportunities to have sex with her in the house you guys share with two parents and a younger brother until one of you moves out? How long you think that's gonna last 'til your parents suspect or even catch you? You're a terrible actor and a worse liar. What if she gets pregnant? You best be on point with the contraceptives pal, 'cause you know if you knock her up neither one of you has the heart for an abortion, and not only will your life be over as you know it, the kid's gonna come out an autistic Cyclops or something. You really willing to risk all that, to put that pressure on yourself because you're too much of a slob to get an actual girlfriend? Because it's not enough for you to jack it to lolicons or even your own sister? You actually gotta do her for real?