Chapter 28: Turning the Tables

Mom was waiting downstairs for me as I prepared to take my morning run. When we approached the dam, Mom signaled towards the dock, indicating she wanted to talk. It was getting colder in the mornings, with temperatures in the mid-30s. It was dark when we started our run, and dark when we returned. I really hated winter, which is an unfortunate thing, living in the Midwest. We got it all, cold, snowy winters with hot summers and the tornado or two mixed in. Just for fun, every few years, there was a hint of an earthquake to keep you guessing. That's right, the Midwest got occasional quakes, as well.

We sat down at the end of the doc, with Mom wrapping her arm around my waist as she leaned her head on my shoulder. Both of us had worked up a moderate sweat, but I still loved the way she smelled. These were the moments I would remember forever. I waited for her to begin the conversation, knowing she had something on her mind. She took advantage of this knowledge, and didn't start talking for several minutes.

"I know the house is in a bit of turmoil at the moment, but I have to tell you, I like having a houseful. I always wanted a big family. Your dad did, too. But sometimes, things don't work out the way you plan."

I couldn't tell if the sniffles were the result of the cold weather or her sorrow, but I pulled her closer and kissed her forehead. I knew, from years of experience with her, the best response was just to be with her and let her know I was there for her. After a couple of minutes, she recovered.

"There are a couple of things I want to talk with you about, one of which is going to be hard for you to hear, I think."

My ears perked up and my stomach clenched. This did not sound good.

"First of all, I'm taking Christy to the station today to talk to Dave. He's going to give her a couple of small cameras to use, and will put her on an assignment. I'm taking responsibility for the cameras, so help me make sure nothing happens to them. None of them are cheap."

"What kind of cameras?" This sounded interesting.

"She's getting a body camera – smaller than the ones you see police wearing, these days; along with a hand held camera, and a pair of glasses with a camera built in."

"What's the assignment?"

"Well, Dave thinks we need to start appealing more to the social media crowd. That tends to be a younger crowd, which is where our ratings suffer the most. He wants Christy to wear the camera at school events, like the football game and maybe during school, if the principal allows it, to capture life as a teenager. Dave has promised Christy has last say on any footage used and anyone on camera will have to sign a waiver. He really hopes they can run a segment, at least once a week, showing what teenagers are really facing."

"I can see how that would be interesting, especially if she captures something like bullying. It's not rampant, but it exists, probably at every school."

"That's the general idea. Christy doesn't know the details yet, so don't ruin the surprise, okay?"

"I'm good with that. I know Christy will enjoy it. So, why aren't you asking me to go along?"

Mom sighed, then said, "I want you to spend some time with Samantha, today. You guys need to reconnect if we are going to bring Samantha back, if that's even possible."

"Are you sure this doesn't have anything to do with Connie?"

I could tell Mom wasn't comfortable with these questions, but I had to know.

"Okay, yes, part of it is to keep you from Connie, I admit."

I wanted to press the issue a little bit. There was something Mom wasn't telling me and I wanted to know what it was.

"Why? Are you jealous?"

I didn't think this was the case, really, I thought it was more that mother was trying to protect me, but the asshole in me had to toss that out there.

"What the two of you did was irresponsible. Connie, being the more mature between the two of you," she paused to consider that for a moment, "should not have put you in that position."

"That's not fair, Mom, I kissed her, not the other way around."

"It doesn't matter. It was irresponsible and could have put me in a difficult situation at work. I certainly don't want there to be a repeat of that situation."

"Look, I'm sorry, Mom. I had no idea."

Mom leaned over and gave me a kiss on the cheek. "It's okay, honey. It's my issue to deal with."

"Okay, but I didn't think..."

"Can we just drop it for now, Phil? I promise, we'll talk more about this, soon; but I'd rather not deal with it, right now."

My hormones had put Mom in a bad position. I thought I had pretty good control, considering I was a teenager, but Connie was really hot and I had sensed an opportunity. I just hadn't considered the ramifications, as far as anyone else was concerned. "You have to know how much I love you, Mom. I'm sorry I put in you in that position."

Mom wrapped her arms around me and pulled me into her, into an extended embrace. We would get past this, but I needed to improve my awareness and try to learn how to control my hormones a little better. After a few minutes, she finally pulled away.

"There's something else we need to discuss."

"Okay."

"I probably should have told you before, but I've had the feeling for some time that I could use a change of scenery. You know I like it here and the friends we've made, but even with the promotion, I feel like my progress is stagnant. I can't afford to wait another ten years to get my next promotion."

"So what are you going to do?"

"I've already done it. There's an opening in San Diego and I've applied for the job. There's an increase in pay, but the chance to move up is better than the chance I have here. It's a larger market with more exposure and I'm running out of time if I want my career to take off. In a couple of years, you'll be moving out and I know I'll need my career to fall back on."

I was in shock! She had never before mentioned the idea of applying for another job, anywhere! I had no idea she was unhappy.

"Does this have anything to do with a couple of guys at the station? Connie told me you didn't necessarily like them."

"Well, I wish she'd kept her mouth shut. Yes, I've had some issues, but it's nothing I can't handle. But no, my decision has nothing to do with those two idiots. Besides, people tend to be about the same, no matter where you go. I'm sure there will be some challenging people in San Diego, too."

I spent a couple of minutes tossing over the news. I just couldn't believe we could move away.

"What about Christy?"

Mom sighed. "I don't know, yet, but I'll talk with her today. Her dad is traveling heavily now, but he told me he expects things to calm down quite a bit in February."

"I don't know what to say."

"Well, don't worry about it, just now. I'm just starting the interview process. I sent them some tapes and was told I would be asked to come out for an interview, probably in a couple of weeks." She smiled and added, "Just in time for your birthday."

"You're leaving on my birthday?"

She again smiled at me. "No, silly. I was thinking we could go out to San Diego together, and celebrate your birthday there."

"What about the Bakers and Christy? I'd like to celebrate with them, too."

"I've got that covered. I may have to break you out of school, but we could go on a Thursday and return Friday evening. Your party would be that following night."

"San Diego. It sounds interesting."

Mom pulled the sweater around her a little tighter. "And warmer."

Christy and Mom took off after breakfast to head for the station as Samantha, Maria and I cleaned up. About twenty minutes later Maria left, telling us she was meeting Carlos for a lunch date. There was something in the way she said it and smiled, that had me wondering what she was up to, but I left it alone. Before the door had closed with Maria's departure, Samantha was in her room with the door closed.

I could suffer a lot of things, but not this. Samantha and I did have a history as friends and I couldn't give up on her this easily. I considered this a challenge and had been thinking about this for the last couple of days. Whether I would be successful or not would depend almost entirely on Samantha.

"What do you want, Phil," was my greeting as I knocked on her door.

"Can I come in, Samantha?"

I could hear her deeply sighing before she answered. "Fine. Come in."

I opened the door to find Samantha laying on her back in bed, her fingers deftly typing in a text message on her phone. She was still in her PJs, which were old, plaid, worn out and a bit too small for her growing feminine figure. Some women could make pajamas look sexy and Suzanne had no trouble doing that.

"What do you want, Phil?"

I shrugged my shoulders started to pace – something I had a habit of doing when I was nervous. I had a bit of a plan, but I didn't want to clue Samantha in, just yet.

"I don't know. I wanted to see what you were up to today and, maybe, hang out a bit."

Samantha didn't even slow down typing. "Why?"

"That's not really the right question, is it? Not why, but what?"

It was enough to get her to lose her focus, albeit temporarily, on her phone. Without saying a word, she raised her eyebrows. Women have an entire arsenal of communications skills I clearly lacked. I couldn't speak their language, but I was learning how to recognize it.

"I don't think I want to hang out with you, Phil." Samantha went back to her phone, resuming her texting.

"Okay, how about this? I'll make you an offer I doubt you'll be able to refuse."

Samantha grunted, but otherwise refused to acknowledge me.

"What if I offered you the chance to kick my ass?"

Samantha's fingers stopped moving and her eyes darted towards me. Again, she said nothing, but raised her eyebrows.

"Keep talking."

"I make this offer, I would like something in return."

"I haven't heard the offer, yet. I'm not promising you anything until I hear the terms."

If she only knew. I had already won a partial victory. She was negotiating with me, not dismissing me out of hand.

"Okay, here it is. You remember Ken, right?" Ken Nguyen was a friend and mentor. He had a dojo in downtime Richmond where he held Karate and some self-defense classes. Samantha nodded. "If you agree, he said he would come over for a little while and, um, help you kick my ass."

Samantha grunted and said, "I doubt he said that. You forget I know him."

"Well, maybe he didn't say it like that, but he said he's willing to show you a couple of moves that will put me on my ass."

Samantha went back to her phone, but she wasn't texting, anymore. I could tell she was tossing the idea over in her mind, trying to figure out what my angle was. She was naturally suspicious – she'd been that way since I had known her, but she was also very curious as well. I knew the battle was raging within.

"You said you wanted something in return, what is it?"

I approached the bed and sat down beside her.

"You let me call you 'Sammie, ' again."

Just for the briefest of brief moments, I thought I detected a slight curling of her lips into the beginning of a smile. But Samantha was strong and her face returned to the same 'who gives a shit' expression she'd had for the past several weeks. She looked at me out of the corner of her eye before responding.

"Why does that even matter to you?"

"Because we have history, Samantha. We've been friends since we were both seven years old. We were practically raised together by your mother and mine. I'm not ready to let that go."

Samantha dropped her phone on the bed beside her and closed her eyes, putting her foreman over the top of her head.

"I get to kick your ass?"

"Well," I said, "you can try to kick my ass. I guess that depends on how quickly you learn what Ken teaches you. How about it? You think you can take me out?"

She removed the forearm covering her eyes, and slugged my shoulder. Hard.

"Asshole, I can take you out without any of Ken's help."

Oh, look! The little smile was back!

"I'll give him a call."

"That was good, Samantha, but your front foot isn't positioned quite right. Place it on the inside of Phil's front foot so your big toe is just about next to his heel and kick out. Ready to try it again?"

She cheated this time. She didn't wait for Ken to say 'GO!' before she kicked my front foot out and put me on my ass. I fell awkwardly and flat on my back. Shit, that hurt. Samantha quickly placed her knee in my abdomen, at Ken's instruction, and simulated a punch to my face.

"Concentrate on your opponent's nose, when you are in this position, Samantha. If you are quick enough, you can break it before your opponent can react. It's all about balance, Samantha. Keeping your opponent off balance, is the key to neutralizing your opponent."

Samantha nodded as I struggled to get up, holding my lower back in the process.

"You okay, Phil? Did I break your widdle tushie, widdle boy?"

She had a crooked smile on her face. It was the same smile she'd had on her face since we were kids. We always got along well, but spent most of our time busting each other's chops.

"My 'tushie' is fine, thank you." But she knew I was lying. Her smirk was growing by the second. "The problem is, SAMMIE," I swept her leg and put her on her ass, "I haven't defended myself, just yet." Her smile was gone and she was a little pissed off. I was standing over her, admiring my work.

"In this position, Samantha, with your opponent standing over you, where is your strongest leg?" Ken asked.

"Between Phil's legs." I barely had time to block her kick to my groin. She certainly wasn't holding anything back there. My fingers felt like sharp needles were stabbing them.

"Okay, I think we're done here!" I announced. Both Ken and Samantha were smiling. "Let me get some water. I'll be right back."

I purposely took my time in the kitchen, getting together a pitcher of ice and water and grabbing a couple of plastic cups. My plan wasn't to get my ass kicked, although I knew that was going to be an unfortunate necessity. No, my plan was to get Samantha and Ken talking. Maybe if Ken could provide an outlet, and take her under his wing, Samantha could channel some of that anger into something useful. Getting to call her Sammie again was nice, but I wanted her 'back, ' in more than name only.

A little over an hour later, Ken was watching over Sammie and me as we did a little sparring. With my training, Sammie wasn't really a match for me. I could tell she was thinking too much, which is natural, considering she had just started. I decided to push her a little.

"Why are you so angry, Sammie?"

"Because I can't seem to get the hang of this." She tried to give me a roundhouse kick, but she telegraphed it and I blocked it easily.

"Not just now, Sammie. Why are you angry all the time? With everyone?" I could see a shadow fall over her face as her anger deepened.

"None of your fucking business, Phil." She attacked me with short punches and tried to step in for a leg sweep. I countered by shifting my weight to my back leg, grabbing her wrists and taking her to the ground. Now I could use a couple of wrestling moves as I worked to pin her. This wasn't fair, not by any stretch, but if I was sure I wouldn't get another opportunity like this.

"It IS my business, Sammie. You took something away from me, from us, and I want it back. Why are you so angry?"

Sammie roared her frustration and tried desperately to escape my grasp, but I had her firmly pinned. Ken was close by, monitoring, in case I took it too far. I didn't intend to hurt Sammie, but it was possible she could hurt herself, in the position she was in.

She grunted again, then collapsed, my full weight now pushing her down. She was just able to reach out and tap the ground a couple of times.

"Get off of her, Phil. She tapped out."

I released Sammie and watched her roll over on her back, her chest heaving as she fought to regain her breath. "You're such a fuckin' bully, just like the rest of them."

"I'm not like the rest of them, Sammie. I just want the truth. Talk to me! Please!"

She didn't say anything for quite a while, as she recovered.

"I already told you, Phil. This shit isn't fair. I don't understand why Mom and I have to live the way we do, when everyone else has it easy. And the fact of the matter is, I'm going to wind up just like her, going nowhere. Who decided that was fair?"

"You've lost your faith."

"Y'damn right, I have. I can't believe there's a god up there who decided we were going to get shit on, while others did nothing and got everything they ever wanted."

"That includes me."

"Yeah, it kinda does, Phil. I know you didn't choose this life, either, but I still don't understand it. Mom works her ass off, and can barely get by. Don't get me wrong, your mom is as generous as they come and the two of you do treat us like family. I know that. But my mother isn't going anywhere. She has no real ambition. She'll probably work until the day she dies, Phil, and she'll have nothing to show for it. And it pisses me off to think I'm going down the same path."

"She has you. And now, she has Carlos. She looks like she's happy."

Sammie rolled her eyes. "That's her definition of happiness. It's not mine."

"You can do anything you want, Sammie."

She laughed. "Bullshit, Phil. My options are limited. Even if I made grades like you do, and got a scholarship somewhere, Mom doesn't make enough money to cover my living expenses or anything else. And let's face it, my grades will never be like yours. Don't say it – I could get a loan or a grant. Do you see where this is going? If I'm not a slave to some other family, I'm going to be a slave to some bank somewhere, spending the best years of my adult life trying to pay them back for a chance for something better."

"It's still a chance, Sammie."

"It's a bullshit chance, Phil. Fool's gold, and you know it."

"For someone with so much fight in them, you sure do give up quickly."

Sammie sat up and put her nose an inch in front of mine. Her eyes were on fire. "And just guess where the fuck I learned to do that?"

I had no idea what she was trying to say.

She poked her finger into my chest.

"I learned it from you, Phil."

I know my eyes got big and my neck was turning red. I could feel the heat traveling up my spine.

"That's right. I learned it from you." Sammie repeated. "From the time I met you, all you could talk about was baseball. The Reds did this, that player did something else. Heck, I even started dreaming about baseball. You would do anything you could to just play a simple game of catch with someone, anyone. I still have that fucking glove your mom bought me, so we could play together. We were on the same teams in little league, right up until the incident with Bill Dolan. All of the sudden, I stopped hearing about baseball. Oh, you, Mike and Sparks would talk about it until you were blue in the face, but as soon as they left? Nada. Why is that, Phil?'

"I ... I was banned from the league."

"Banned from the league. Did you try to challenge it? No. Why didn't you fight for it, Phil? What did you just say, 'it's still a chance'? What about it, Phil? Was that bullshit, too?"

I was stunned. And angry. Pissed off. And I knew it wasn't just Sammie. It was Bill and his father and uncle. If they hadn't...

"Think about it, Phil. You're angry, anyone can see that, right now. Who are you angry at the most?"

"Well, Bill and his father..."

"Have nothing to do with it, Phil." Ken said. "Sure, they started the ball rolling, but instead of fighting, you gave up and let them win. You simply walked away from the one thing your mother thought meant the most to you."

I couldn't think. My mind was swirling, trying to make sense of what Ken and Sammie were telling me. But they weren't right, neither of them. I fought. Heck, I broke Bill Dolan's uncle's jaw. That was fighting! I had no control over the things that resulted from that night. They banned me and told me fighting it was useless. I would never win and Mom would just be wasting her money getting a lawyer involved.

"Your mother was devastated when you gave up baseball, Phil. It was the happiest she had seen you since your father passed away a couple years before. But nothing she could say or do changed your mind. She was heartbroken, but she hid it from you well. I doubt you ever knew that."

I hadn't known. Mom had been supportive and wanted to fight, but I just wanted it to be over. She begged me to let her get Tom involved, but I never did. I felt like the entire town had been against me and the only way to get out of it was to simply walk away. So I did. I had no idea I had affected anyone else, but Sammie and Ken were telling me I had. And not just one person, multiple people.

"So now you know, Phil." Sammie wiped the beginning of tears from her eyes. "You gave up. Until that day, you were my best friend. That's at least part of the reason I'm angry, Phil. You taught me that dreams didn't really mean that much. My dad was telling me the same thing. He said I would never amount to much, and I'd probably wind up like my mother, unless I came up with an alternative. So, here I am."

"Sammie, I think Phil's heard enough for now. Phil, why don't we go inside and find something to eat."

We ate our sandwiches in relative silence as I tried to make sense of what I had been told. Sammie must of thought I was one helluva hypocrite the way I was badgering her when all along she considered me no better than a coward. I couldn't deny what she had said. When the going got tough, I walked away.

"How did I get here?" I said quietly.

"Sucks, doesn't it?" Sammie said. I simply nodded my compliance. "So, what are YOU going to do now? I have to tell you, this is a lot more fun being on this side of the interrogation."

"I don't know, exactly." I raised my eyes to Sammie's for the first time since we sat at the table. "But I DO know I'm going to fight, Sammie. Now that I know I took a wrong turn, I've got to figure out how to get back on track."

"Are you serious? You're actually going to do something after three years of nothing?"

"I've already started, really. I've talked to Boyd and Doug Jennings and they've gone to bat for me with Coach Dolan. I'm getting a try-out in the spring and I'm going to do everything I can between then and now to get ready."

"I'll help where I can, Phil. Working on your agility and flexibility would be a good start. Getting you to focus would also help. Are you still meditating?"