Chapter 22: Aftermath

I had a choice. I could ignore Christy and walk into the house, or I could face her now and get this out of the way. As Christy got out of her car and started walking towards me, I made my decision. I turned around and took a seat on the steps of the front stoop.

Christy stood at the bottom of the steps while I sat on the stoop. "Why did you leave, Phil? I asked you to stay so we could talk."

The walk/jog home had helped clear my mind somewhat and the talk with Mike had helped more. I was still pretty hurt and pissed, but the edge had been taken off and I was a lot calmer than I had been thirty minutes before.

"You wouldn't have wanted to talk to me thirty minutes ago, Christy. I was out of my mind."

"Phil, what did you think was going on?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "I don't know. Why don't you tell me?"

"We finished dress rehearsal and the group wanted to go grab something to eat. The rehearsal went well, so we were celebrating a little."

In her mind, she was sure she had done nothing wrong. In my mind, she was digging a deeper hole.

"Why didn't you contact me?"

"Because it was just the group from the dress rehearsal that went out, Phil!"

"So the dress rehearsal only consisted of four people?" Christy didn't answer right away. The answer was obviously no. "How would you have reacted if you had been in my shoes, Christy?"

She was standing in front of me, but now she was starting to fidget. "I would have talked to you to find out what was going on, at least."

I nodded my head and thought about everything that had happened in the last week. "Here's what I know, Christy. We had planned to go out tonight. I was getting all of the signs that tonight would be THE night for us, you know?"

Christy nodded in agreement.

"Then I find out Thursday night that you have dress rehearsal Saturday, which seemed kind of sudden to me. I mean, aren't these things planned a little in advance?"

She didn't respond.

"So, not only do I find out that we can't go out tonight, I also find out that you had known the entire week that we wouldn't be able to go."

My voice was getting progressively louder as my anger began rising again.

"You told me last night you couldn't wait to be with me again and you would let me know if the dress rehearsal let out early. How am I doing so far?"

She nodded her head. Her eyes were now tearing up.

"Then I happen to accidentally run into you at a restaurant hanging out with the drama club. But, not the entire drama club, just three other members, including Steve Williams, a guy YOU KNEW I didn't like and had warned you about."

Christy lowered her head and wiped her eyes. "Nothing was happening, Phil."

"How can I believe that, Christy? He was all over you in that booth and you were doing nothing to discourage him. Seriously? Did you even think about me while you were out with them?"

"Of course I did. I was going to contact you after..."

" ... your date with Steve."

"IT WASN'T A DATE, PHIL!" she screamed.

We glared at each other. I stopped to regroup for a second as I was starting to feel my control slipping away. How could she not see what was going on? Even if she didn't want to go out with Stephen, she had to know that he was coming on to her. I tried to calm myself and lowered my voice just above a whisper.

"I don't think you could convince anyone it wasn't a date, Christy. I don't think Jessica is convinced, and she was your best friend." Christy cringed at those words. "When you contacted me after your ... whatever you want to call it, were you going to tell me about it?"

"No," she whispered.

"Why not?"

"Because I knew you would react badly."

"So, you knew what you were doing was wrong, and did it anyway? I think you just ruined your own argument, Christy. But there is something else I want to know."

She lifted her head to look at me, tears staining her cheeks.

"Have you kissed him?"

Christy lowered her head and stayed silent. I had my answer.

"I think we're done here."

I got up and turned towards the door.

"No, Phil, wait. I need you to understand."

I turned to face her, my hand on the doorknob.

"What's to understand, Christy?"

"It was for the play. Steve is my boyfriend in the play and we have a scene together where we kiss. It's not a long kiss, but it's still a kiss."

"So why do you look so guilty?"

"He kept messing up the scene, and I figured out he was doing it just to kiss me. I feel guilty because I knew what he was doing, and didn't stop him."

"Christy, maybe you should go out with him. It sounds like you have feelings for him, anyhow."

"That's just it! I don't think I have feelings for him, Phil, but I did enjoy the attention. I'm sorry I didn't contact you like I should have. I don't know what to do, Phil. How can I make this right?"

I thought about it for a moment. She was still going to be in the drama club with Steve and I would have to constantly think about what the two of them could be up to. Maybe it was just my insecurities coming through. I just couldn't trust her, right now and I didn't want to keep fighting over the same thing.

"Christy, I just don't think you can. I don't feel like I can trust you, and that is just gutting me. I think it's best if we just stopped going out together."

Christy was sobbing and I had tears running down my cheeks. I hadn't been through anything this hard since my dad had died more than ten years ago. I felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest all over again.

"What if ... what if I quit the drama club?"

My head was shaking before she even finished her thought. "No, that's not the answer. You would quit and end up resenting me. I know this is important to you."

We were talked out. There wasn't much left to discuss, really, so an uncomfortable silence prevailed.

"I'm sorry, Phil. I never wanted things to turn out this way."

With nothing left to say, nothing was said for several moments. I knew I was in love with her, but I also knew I couldn't live with the shadow of doubt being introduced into the relationship.

"Can ... can I hug you one more time, before I go?" she asked.

I got up and met her at the bottom of the steps. She wrapped her arms around my midsection and grabbed me like she would never let me go. I could hear and feel her sobbing into my shoulder as we stood there trying to console each other.

"I know I didn't say it before, Phil, but I do love you."

I didn't answer. I just held her as she continued to hang on.

"Can I still come over, sometimes? Your mother and I are getting pretty close. She's everything I wish my mom would be."

I had to think about that for a moment. It would be hard to see her and I'm sure that was part of her motivation, but she was getting close to Mom and, from her description of her mom, she had to be pretty terrible. How could I deny her?

"I think my mom might leave my dad, pretty soon. I heard them fighting the other night."

"Sure, Christy, you're welcome to come over and see Mom. You'll understand if I have a hard time being around you for a while.

"I understand, Phil, but please don't shut me out. I know I can be pretty stupid sometimes, but I don't think I could stand it if you cut me out of your life, completely."

I broke our hug and created a little distance between us. I'm sure both of us were a mess.

"I'll work on it, okay? Just promise me you'll give me a little room."

She nodded her head and gave me a forced smile.

"I've really enjoyed being with you, Phil. Don't think I'm giving up on you entirely, okay?"

I nodded my head and she turned towards her car. I watched her get in and drive away before I headed into the house.

I was still fully clothed, lying in bed, on my stomach, when Mom sat on the bed next to me and began rubbing my back.

"Why don't you get ready for bed, Phil?"

I struggled to get out of bed and dragged myself to the bathroom. Mom came with me and wrapped her arms around my waist as I brushed my teeth. The reflection I was seeing in the mirror was nearly unrecognizable. My eyes were red and puffy and my expression drawn. I looked like I had been beaten and left for dead.

"I heard what happened, Phil. Mike, Jessica and Christine filled us in when we got back to the Baker's house." I nodded my head as I continued to brush my teeth. "I'm sure I'm just getting one perspective here, but it sounds like Christy made a mistake." I nodded my head, and spit into the sink. "Maybe it was a big mistake, but a mistake, nonetheless."

I rinsed and wiped my mouth on the hand towel.

"They may not know the whole story, Mom. Christy knew she had dress rehearsal all week, but didn't bother to tell me until Thursday night."

"Oh."

I sighed and said, "I was pretty sure we were going to go all the way tonight, if we had kept our date. She knew that, too."

"Oh, that's not good."

"And then I see her with Steve Williams, a well-known pus... , uh, skirt-chaser, laughing and having a good time."

We walked back into the bedroom and I stripped down to my boxers.

"She's going to be in that drama club for the rest of the year, with that ass-clown. I don't think I can deal with that, so I told her we should stop going out."

Mom took my clothes and dumped them into the hamper.

"Mike told me she pulled up as he was leaving. I wasn't sure if you decided to talk to her or not."

"I wanted to get it over with. It started out with some yelling, but we ended it with a hug."

"Well, that's good. I feel bad for her, though. She's going through a rough time at home."

"That's what she told me. She asked if she could still come over and visit with you."

Mom smiled and said, "I hope it won't bother you if she does."

I climbed into bed, and Mom sat with me.

"I may not stay around if she comes over, at least for a while. It's going to be hard enough being around her in school, and maybe seeing her with someone else."

Mom smiled at me and moved my hair from my eyes.

"Before you close the books on Christy, Phil, you might want to have another talk with her." I started to protest but she continued, "I don't mean now, but maybe in a couple of weeks from now, when this isn't so fresh in your mind. You might find yourself thinking a little differently. She doesn't have to be the enemy."

"I know. But it still hurts, a lot. I haven't felt like this since dad died."

Mom continued to stroke my hair and my cheek.

"Do you need me to stay with you, tonight?"

I thought about it for a minute, but I really just wanted to be alone with my thoughts.

"Thanks, but I'll be okay. I just need to work through this."

She leaned forward and gave me a quick kiss on the lips.

"Okay, you know where I am. If you need me for anything, just let me know."

She got up and headed for her room, but paused in the doorway.

"I know you don't feel good, Phil, but do yourself a favor and try not to allow yourself to wallow in it. I know that sounds harsh, considering this is so fresh, but the longer you allow yourself to give in to the hurt, the longer it will take you to move on. I think you are going to find yourself in a completely different world when you emerge from this. What doesn't kill us..."

" ... makes me want to beat the crap out of the guy who came up with that phrase."

Sunday afternoon was the day to make some real progress on the treehouse. I had asked for help from Mike, Sparks, Tom and Carlos and they all arrived around ten that morning. But the number of 'helpers' didn't end there. Carlos brought a couple of guys with him to help with the cherry picker and some of the roof work. I was happy with this turn of events, as I wasn't a huge fan of heights and climbing on that roof twenty feet in the air didn't help.

But the guys weren't the only ones in attendance. The ladies had decided to make it a spectator sport, so Misty, Christine, Jessica, Maria and Mom had all taken up residence in some fold out lawn chairs to watch the guys work. At one point, I noticed Mom and Maria off on their own having a rather lengthy discussion. I hoped that Mom was proposing Maria and Samantha stay with us, at least until Maria could get enough funding for the house she wanted.

Each of the women had a place in my heart to some degree, the surprise being the latest addition, Jessica. Until this year, I was convinced that she was simply a cold, unfeeling ... bitch. I guess that was the persona she wanted to project. During one of our breaks, I went inside to grab some drinks for the guys when Jessica followed me in.

"Can we meet Tuesday, Phil?"

I nodded my head. "Jess, until you tell me otherwise, we have a standing appointment every Tuesday."

Her expression hardened a little. "Is that how you view our talks? Like you are obligated?"

Crap, I really stepped in it.

"Oh, Jess, not at all. Please don't get the wrong idea. I really do enjoy our talks." She offered a small smile. I could tell she was fighting it. "But, I have to tell you, Jess, you really surprised me."