Chapter 2

I was using every oportunity to be out of the house and away from Shelly. I often slept on a cot in my office. I spent endless hours at the gym doing forms, and in endless drill on the bags, anything to empty my mind and escape my thoughts. I don't drink or do drugs but I gave serious thought to starting.

Shelly ambushed me over breakfast at the Jim's Restaurant on Main. She sat on my bench, pinning me in the booth. "Have you given any thought to what we talked about?"

"I haven't been able to think about anything else. I can't sleep. I can't do my job. I'm supposed to be working the biggest project of my career, but I can't think of anything but you! My boss has as good as told me, if I don't get my head out of my ass, I'm gone."

"Don't you want to talk? Try to change my mind? Fight for me?"

"How can I compete with your fantasy, your ideal man, bigger and better than me. A good part of sex is in the mind. Your mind is already slobbering over his big black cock. You can almost taste that first mouthful of his thick hot come. Can't you?"

She had the grace to blush, and drop her head. "So you won't fight? You'll just give up on us? Throw up your hands and walk away?"

"If I have to fight you, to save us, is there really anything to save? If I do persuade you to honor your wedding vows, for now, how long will it be before someone more persuasive comes along? After the fact, I'll castrate him, and no one will ever find the body. But its not about him, but about you. It's your body. You can accept anyone you want into it. Just decide! Please decide. Waiting is killing me. I can't cope much longer. Even now, I'm not sure we can ever get back to where we were!"

She snapped, "But it was just sex! Just an experience to check off on the bucket list. It doesn't have to be the end of the world!"

I looked at her with new eyes. "For me, yes it was. It is." I stepped up onto the bench, climbed on the table, walked to the end and then out to the truck. I pointed the nose West, and just drove. Until two thirty gallon tanks were empty, I just drove.