Chapter 5

There I was, thinking it was kind of cute and very much flattering. I was serious when I told her that I wished I was fourteen so I could chase her, but the truth is that at fourteen I was hopelessly shy and socially stunted. I got called 'weirdo' and 'freak' and 'nerd' and 'geek' and a bunch of less flattering names, and there were seldom days that I talked to a girl about anything other than the tersest of comments about schoolwork.

Didn't matter that I made great grades in math and dreamed that some girl, almost ANY girl, would ask me to help them with schoolwork or homework.

I've only been slightly better since college, although I can talk to the women whose computer problems I fix at work, and I can even flirt a little. Still...

And Dana calls me her boyfriend.

Two more weeks pass, and Dana's a daily visitor as well as both days on the weekend. Mizz Lee's still wringing her hands over it.

"Edward, seriously, you do not have to feel obligated to take care of Dana."

"Mizz Lee," I reply, "She's a great kid. I love having her around."

And finally, Mizz Lee told me, "Be careful, Edward. I think she is smitten with you."

"Mizz Lee, she's got friends at school. It's a matter of time before she starts being more involved with them. I'll be an afterthought."

"Edward, listen to me and understand something. I don't worry about Dana with you. I would worry greatly if she was with some kids from school."

"She's fourteen. Too young to date."

"Edward, I see crowds of kids her age at the mall. There is not a single one of her contemporaries that I can visualize letting out of sight with my Dana. You, on the other hand, I'm afraid that one day some young woman your age will see what she needs to see in you, and you'll leave my Dana behind..."

I'm trying to interpret this, but the idea of a woman just showing up and deciding she needs ME is only slightly shy of completely ludicrous.

"I wouldn't do that to Dana," I said.

And I don't know what Mizz Lee and I just told each other.

Dana's school bus arrived and she came bouncing in the door of Mizz Lee's apartment.

"Two of my favorite people," she said. She hugged Mizz Lee and kissed her cheek, then did the same to me. Quick kiss. All cheek. But I caught the eyes.

"So what'd you do with a vacation day, Ed?" she asked.

"Had to get my car serviced. Doctor's appointment."

"Everything okay? At the doctor?"

"Yes. Routine checkup. Everything's okay. Thanks for your concern."

"Know what else I'm concerned about?"

"No. What?"

"Math. Can you help me?"

I looked at Mizz Lee then back at Dana. "Only if you will accompany me to dinner afterward. I must have my reward for this onerous duty."

"You two..." Mizz Lee laughed. "I will go visit Lettie and drink her horrible tea. You two be good. Dana, you can let yourself in when you're finished."

"Yes, ma'am," Dana said.

"Be careful, Mizz Lee."

Another night of a bit of math homework and a nice dinner with somebody who had an offbeat, wry outlook on the universe as seen from middle school.

A week after that, Dana came in the door. "Ed, Gramma wants to talk to you if you have time."

"Of course I have time."

"Go over there, then. I'm gonna stay here and do my homework. She says it's adult stuff."

I hadn't done anything. Honest. Unless you want to count snuggles in the recliner and me rubbing her back and caressing her face. Nothing.

I went across the alcove and knocked.

"Come in, Edward," came the voice from inside.

I went inside. "Dana says you wanted to talk to me?"

"Yes, Edward. A serious conversation, if you will."

"Yes, ma'am," I said.

"About Dana, Edward. Here's the gist. You know I am of an age where it is possible that I have a sudden and catastrophic health event..."

"You didn't find out something, did you?"

"No, Edward, and thank you for your concern. But I'm of that age where such things become more common. And with Dana, I do not want her thrown on the tender mercies of the state."

"Yes, ma'am. I know what you mean."

"I have put you in my will as my heir, Edward. And I have introduced an item wishing that you should attend to our Dana if I am no longer able to do so."

"Gee, Mizz Lee."

"I know it is an unpleasant subject, Edward," she said, "But nonetheless, it must be addressed."

"You know I take Dana seriously."

"Of course I do. She swears that you are the ultimate homework resource and study buddy. Her grades reflect that SOMETHING comes from you working with her. And she is a very content young lady. I asked her about what she feels, Edward. She says that having you as her friend means that she does not have to enter into much of the emotional exercises of adolescent life."

"I will take credit for being her comic relief," I quipped.

"I know the caliber of your humor, Edward. Now I find my grand-daughter emulating you. And mercy, I find that much more satisfying than dealing with the sullen, hormone-ravaged hellions that some of my friends describe as their own grandchildren." She sighed. "Still, I would like for you to go to my attorney and sign papers, Edward. They will be legal documents that say in the event that I become incapacitated, you will become Dana's guardian."

"Mizz Lee..."

"Who else might I choose? We, she and I, are out of blood relations. I spoke with her about this. She's the one that said, and I'm quoting, "Ed would be the ideal person to take care of me."

"I'll go sign after work tomorrow."

"Good. I will tell them to expect you."

I went into my apartment and found Dana stretched on the carpet, math book open, pencil in hand. She rolled over on her back to look at me.

"One of these days, Ed..."

"One of these days what?"

"Nothing. Did you talk to Gramma?"

"Of course."

"Morbid stuff, huh?"

"She's making plans, just in case, sweetie," I said. Yes, pet names flowed from me to her quite often.

She smiled. "And you agreed?"

"Of course. I can't harbor the thought of you going somewhere with somebody and I lose you in my life."

"Me neither," she countered.

"But did you have to tell her that I'm the ideal person to take care of you?"

"Well, you ARE," she squealed. "Nobody else." She extended her hand with her notebook in it. "Here. Scan this, make sure I didn't go through it too fast..."

I did as told. Backed into my recliner, kicked back while she attended to a history worksheet.

"Fill in the blanks. Geeze, Ed. What am I supposed to LEARN? She pulls a statement right out of the text and leaves the key word out and I'm supposed to learn something? Once I found out what she's doing, I just speed-read the text and fill in the answers."

"And make 'As' on your tests."

"And make 'As' on my tests," she grinned. "Okay, I suppose I learn a little..."

I was still working my way through her math problems when she closed her history book.

"Are you finished with that?"

"Yes, I am."

"Is it good?"

"Yes, Miss Math."

She smirked at me as she put the paper in her backpack. The backpack went on the floor. The Dana went into the chair beside me. Serious grey eyes.

"I think about it, you know, Ed."

"Think about what?"

"Who would take care of me. I think that you'd do the best job of taking care of me. You would, wouldn't you?"

"I would."

"For a long time."

"A really long time."

She slid up from her usual position squeezed in beside me to where she was half on top of me. It's one of those things she does. She folded her hands, resting her chin on them, our faces mere inches apart.

"You know that drives me nuts, Dana."

"I know."

"Why do you do it?"

"Because I like your face. You have pretty eyes."

"So do you. That makes this very troubling."

"Troubling? What could be troubling about this? Are you afraid that I'll..." she pushed up quickly and kissed me full on the lips. It wasn't much more than a peck, but full on the lips, and she KNEW what she was doing.

"Dana!"

"Was just a kiss, Ed."

"No such thing as 'just a kiss' from you, Dana."

"One more, then I'll be good."

"You promise?"

"Promise."

I just realized I'd given her permission, and she took advantage. Wasn't a peck. Was a real kiss. My soul was leaving my body. When her tongue brushed my lips, I started circling the drain. Part of me tried NOT to respond. That's the part that lost.

"Dana..." I said. This time it was a sigh.

Giggle. "You're repeating yourself."

"That kiss..."

"Did I do it right? I heard about French kissing and you see people kiss all the time. TV. Movies."

"You kissed me..."

"Honestly, Ed, one good kiss. Me and you. There're girls in my class that are having serious sex. Couple of abortions. One left before I got there, everybody thinks she went away to have a baby. And you're getting upset over a KISS?"

The next kiss, I definitely DON"T remember giving permission.

Okay, Ed, we have self-control. And a few kisses between friends.

"I really like this, Ed," she said.

"Uh, yeah ... kissing is a very popular activity."

"No. With you."

"You definitely add a dimension..." Can't finish the statement because I'm getting kissed. And horrors! She wasn't only halfway on top of me any more.

"Dana..."

"Feels really good, Ed."

"Too good."

She took that statement and did NOTHING with it. Kissed me again.

Okay, now my arms are doing what they wanted to do, holding her, caressing her.

"You like this."

"God, yes ... Dana, we need to stop..."

"In a little bit..." Kiss. "Mmmmm" in the middle of it. And a wiggle. A definite and obviously planned wiggle. I was erect, straining, and the little darlin' wiggled right on top of it.

Worse, she spread her legs, rocked back, straddling me. Snuggled in, kissed me again. I don't know if was instinct or response to stimulus or what, but she humped against me. Her face flushed. Her lips alternated between a smile and a straight line, her concentration, then ... rigid.

I know what was happening to her and that knowledge was too much, piled on top of the cutie, the stimulation, the kisses. I emptied my load into my shorts.

"Ed."

"Yes, princess?"

"I know what just happened to me. Did it just happen to YOU?"

I nodded.

Giggle. "First time! First time a boy ever made me come..."

"Where'd you learn about 'coming'?"

"School, silly. All kinds of talk there. And first time I ever made a boy come."

"So you knew what you were doing..."

"Yeah, kinda. Ed, I didn't get up here planning to do this. I was gonna kiss you once or twice. Got kinda carried away..."

"I should've made you stop, princess ... Not right."

"Oh, really?!? Maybe my first time shoulda been with one of those guys at school? Maybe HE wouldn't have stopped with a few kisses and some dry humping."

"You know about dry humping?"

"I know lots of things, Ed. I suspect a lot of it's half-truth or just plain wrong, but I know lots of stuff. I think I got the dry-humping thing right."

"God, did you ever ... Baby, I need to get up. I have a mess."

"So that part's right? About a guy shooting stuff when he comes?"

"Yeah. And did they tell you that if a guy's really stimulated, it's even worse?"