Chapter 2

The whole family was in an uproar at the next Sunday lunch. Nonna and Gina were over the moon. A few were looking at me with speculation. One of the younger ones finally asked the question foremost on all their minds.

"Are you rich?"

So that was it!

"No, Sophie, I'm not rich. But my job pays really well and I've always been conservative with my money. Tell the family to stop wondering. I can well afford this. If I couldn't, I wouldn't have asked."

Brian was so proud of me it was embarrassing. Without specifics, he told them I made well over three times what he made a year. He held me up as an example to the young women and girls there, telling them anything was possible if they worked hard enough.

One of the older men said something to him in Italian that made him color. There was a sharp exchange, and Brian actually got up and walked around the block. The air was a frosty for a little while when he got back.

I asked Aunt Rita what was said while we were cleaning the kitchen.

"Nothing worth talking about."

"Yes there is. I've never seen Brian so angry, as hard as he was working to control it, I could see."

She sighed.

"Cousin Endo told Brian to get rid of you. If you made that much more than he did sooner or later you would try to wear the pants in the relationship. He said if you had been single this long there had to be something wrong with you. He told him you would take his balls if he weren't careful. And I will not repeat what Brian said. Let's just say it was a good thing that he was nowhere near Brian's age."

I teared up. She hugged me, patting my back.

"Stop. It was just the bitter rantings of an angry old man. His wife left him a few years back because she couldn't take his controlling ways. She made a lot more than he did. The lifestyle he flaunted to every one disappeared overnight. The sad part was she did love him, but he drove her away."

Thinking about my secret, I blurted out what was on my mind.

"Maybe he should get rid of me. Maybe I don't deserve him."

She slapped me! Not a slap designed to hurt, but to get my attention.

"Listen to me, girl! You're the best thing that ever happened to him. He's so in love with you he can't see straight. Don't you ever believe differently!"

She called Nonna over and spoke to her in Italian, a rapid fire exchange I had no hope of following. Nonna pulled my apron off and led me to the kitchen door. Pinching my cheeks, she pulled me down to her level.

"I know you're hiding something from Brian, something big. You need to tell him, soon. He'll be rattled, but he'll still love you. I can see it, here."

She tapped a finger against the middle of her forehead.

"Now go. Spend as much time as you can with him before we leave."

He appeared by my side almost instantly. I never got used to it, he always knew exactly where I was in a crowd of people. I didn't feel his eyes, I would feel his smile, does that make any sense? Probably not, but that's what it was.

"Are you all right, honey?"

I clung to his arm like a little girl.

"No. I'm tired. Take me home, please?"

We pulled in front of his house. I didn't realize it at the time, but when I said home, his was the one I meant.

He didn't say a word, just pulled me inside, raining small kisses on whatever patch of skin he could reach with his mouth. Putting me gently on the couch, he went into the kitchen and made tea. We both preferred Earl Grey, with lemon, no sugar.

He brought the service in, sitting it on the coffee table, poured the water and sat the cups to steep.

Then he lifted me up on his lap like I was a feather. I could never get used to how strong he was.

Not being able to say anything, I put my face into his chest and wept. He didn't say a word, just let me cry it out. The tea grew cold. When I finally stopped he started kissing me.

Soft gentle kisses at first, getting firmer as his passion grew. Tongues came into play, his dominant. I was getting hotter and hotter, squirming on his obvious erection as I tried to suck his tongue out of his mouth. His hands started roaming. When he hit my nipples I thought I would pass out. I was moaning into his mouth as his hands slid under my skirt. I let him caress my smooth skin.

My brain finally kicked in and I slid off his lap. I looked at him with lust and sadness. I decided to come clean, and take my chances. I grasp both His hands in mine.

"Honey, I need to tell you something, something really important. Please listen to me before you say anything. I've never told anyone this before, but I..."

That's as far as I got before I broke down again. He put me on his lap again and held me close.

"Hush, honey. I know what you were going to say. It's all right, really."

I was so confused.

"You know?"

His smile was so sweet it melted my heart.

"Yes, I know. I love you too, have almost since I met you."

Wait. What?

Then it hit me. He loved me. HE LOVED ME!

I cried for almost another hour before I could compose myself enough to say it back to him.

Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would be saying it to such a man. Finally reality set in. It was now or never.

"Brian. I really need to tell you..."

His home phone and his cell phone rang at the same time.

"Sorry, babe, it's Aunt Rita."

"Hello. What? Where is he? We're on out way."

He was pulling me towards the door as he was hanging up.

"Uncle Sean collapsed. That was Gina on her phone. They're at Mercy, and they need us."

It was one of the scariest rides of my live. His Corvette howled out rpms while the tires screamed in agony, taking corners at ridiculous speeds.

By the time I got him calmed down we were at the hospital. Nonna and Gina were supporting Rita, and when she saw us she reached her arms out to us, eyes filled with pain. I forgot everything else and ran to her.

She hugged me and sobbed, and Brian had us both in his embrace. When she calmed a little he left her with me and went to Nonna and Gina.

"What happened?"

Gina was sobbing almost as badly as Rita. She had always been a daddy's girl.

"They don't know yet. It could be a stroke or a heart attack. He just collapsed out of his chair about forty five minutes after you left. I called 911 and here we are. He can't die, Brian. He just can't!"

The next hour was tense. Rita refused to let go of me, so I sat and stroked her hair like a child, telling her how much I had grown to love her. And I had.

I finally got her distracted by telling her we had both professed our love for each other. She actually had a little smile.

"Good, child, good. Have you set a date?"

"We haven't talked that far ahead yet. But when it happens, will you be my matron of honor?"

It set off a fresh rain of tears, and she let go of me to huddle with Nonna and Gina. They beckoned me over and we locked into a group hug that must have lasted fifteen minutes. I felt his smile, and looked over. I could see the love shining out his eyes all the way across the room.

The doctor came out. Good news, it wasn't a heart attack. Bad news, it was maybe a small stroke, or a pre-stroke event. Tests had been ordered and he had been admitted. He was cognizant and wanted to see Rita.

We went as a group. The nurse was telling us it could only be for a few minutes, family only. She even took our names and our relationship to the patient. They had had a bad incident a few months before, when a mentally unstable man claimed to be a relative and almost raped a girl before they caught him.

When it came time Aunt Rita answered before I could speak.

"This is Andi Campbell, my favorite daughter in law."

I didn't know what to say. Brian came over and hugged me.

"And I'm Brian Campbell, her husband."

The only thing that kept me upright was his arms around me. Nonna was giving me a self satisfied smile and Gina was looking back and forth, trying to understand, before her smile broke across her face.

It turned out to be a warning, not quite a full fledged stroke. He was in the hospital two days, and had to go through mental and dietary counseling. Rita threatened to hit him with a rolling pin if she saw his hand anywhere near a salt shaker. She had him eating a lot of salads, which almost killed him at Sunday lunches.

We were to leave the next Tuesday, it was the earliest we could get the offended CEO to the table. He had been unavailable, in Monaco for a small vacation. The Germans were starting to get edgy, I needed to smooth it out as soon as possible.

I asked Brian if we could skip most of the day with the family, just enjoy lunch and go back to his house. I wouldn't be seeing him for the next three weeks, and wanted all the time I could get.

I had made up my mind. If it destroyed me, he needed the truth.

I was nervous and distracted all that week, and couldn't concentrate at all. My boss finally sent me home on Thursday, telling me to get my head wired on straight before I got on the plane. He was smiling as he told her.

"Go home. Spend time with that handsome young man of yours. Get enough to last you until you come back, so you don't kill him when you do. Leave him drained and wanting more, he'll appreciate it that much more when you do return."

If it was only that easy. I told Brian I was coming over Friday night and I wasn't leaving until Sunday afternoon, so if he had any plans that didn't include me, cancel them now. He surprised me by saying "yes, dear."

As I left my condo I asked Harold to keep an eye on my place for the next three weeks because I was going to be out of the country.

"Honeymoon?" He asked, smiling.

"Afraid not. Business."

"well, I bet it's just a matter of time. I'll watch your place then to. If I don't see you before you leave, have a safe trip."

I touched his arm.

"Thank you, Harold. You're a good man."

Brian picked me up in his truck, and we dined at the cafe to keep peace, since we weren't planning to come Sunday. Gina and Nonna were there, but thank goodness Rita had plenty of help because neither of them could function thinking about the trip. Rita said it was like Nona had gotten ten years younger. There were kisses and hugs from family and friends that had accepted me as one of their own. I was an only child of parents that never exposed me to extended family, there just wasn't that many of us, and I savored this experience.

I had to stop drinking wine after the tenth toast or Brian would have carried me home unconscious. As it was, I was tipsy when we left. I was feeling naughty, so I slid over as close as I could to him.

"Tell me you love me!" I demanded, knowing after this weekend I might not ever hear it again.

He was holding my hand, squeezing it playfully.

"I don't know. If I tell you that too many times you might just believe it and start making plans for the future. Then where would we be?"

I was leaning over, nibbling on his neck. I pulled back and squeezed his hand tighter.

"Happy?" I asked, hoping.

"I can live with that. I love you Andi, I always will. Need to hear it again?"

I made him repeat it over and over until we pulled into his garage. We must have stayed in the truck five minutes, necking like kids at a drive in, before he practically dragged me into the house. He had my blouse off and my bra unsnapped before we were out of the kitchen.

I was tugging at his belt before sanity hit me.

"Brian, honey, let's slow down a second. I still need to tell you something."

Disappointment was plain on his face.

I started crying, couldn't help it. His expression changed instantly, and he hugged me to him, hard. I felt my nipples rub on his shirt, springing to attention. Finally he pushed me back.

He held my face so I couldn't look away from him.

"I've endured all the drama I can, Andi. Let's get whatever you have to tell me out of the way. I'd like to go back to what we were doing, soon."

He bent down and lightly bit my right nipple. I moaned, holding his head, before pulling him back.

"They're a matched set, remember. My left nipple is getting extremely jealous."

"Anything to keep peace in the family" he said grinning, before devouring my left nipple, sucking so hard he pulled my breast straight out. When his mouth popped off I was amazed. I had never seen my nipples this elongated and stiff.

I got an idea. Even if he threw me out, I wanted the pleasure of satisfying him just once. I stood up and shimmied slowly out of my skirt, exposing my thigh highs and boyshorts. My secret was safely secured out of sight.

I could see the lust and need in his eyes. I pulled him to his feet, undid his belt and pants, letting them fall to the floor. He was rock hard and impressive. Not porn star size, but still a nice package.

"My rules" I warned, as I sat him back down and removed his shoes and pants. "No touching me unless I say you can, and not below the waist for now. This is all about you, and my love for you."

I had been lightly stroking him, sliding up and down his shaft while pre-cum oozed out. Capturing it with my fingers, I used it to lube him to extra sensitivity. His eyes were huge as he followed my head downward.

I kissed him lightly up and down his shaft, trying not to miss a centimeter of skin. He almost came off the couch as I lightly swirled my tongue over his balls, before he settled down with a moan.

"This is so good! You are amazing!" He babbled this as I finally took him into my mouth.

I looked up into his eyes, swirling my tongue lightly over the head, and lied my ass off.

"I really don't have much experience with this, or sex at all, but I'll try to make it good for you."

With that out of the way I worked him, hard. My transsexual partner in college was absolutely the best. If cock sucking could be equated to education, she would hold several PhD.s and emeritus status. I still got regular erections back then, I hadn't been on hormones that long. I garnered the benefit of her experience, and she sometimes not so patiently taught me. I had to practice, a lot. It was then I discovered that I had a tendency towards submissiveness, something I had to sublimate in my career. So, knowing it might be the only time I got to do this, I put my heart and soul into it. If he dumped me, I wanted to think about me sometimes, late at night, in bed with whoever he ended up with, with fondness and regret.

If there were a hall of fame for cocksucking, this would have come in somewhere in the middle of the top ten. He was moaning, speaking no tongue known to man, practically begging me to finish him after almost thirty minutes. When I finally got serious, he exploded. It was enormous, he told me later he hadn't been with anyone else and hardly touched himself while we were dating, wanting to make it special. It was.

I can say with pride that I didn't spill a drop, cleaning him gently until he was so sensitive he had to literally pull me off. I held on for a while, until finally letting go with an audible pop. He was practically crying.

He pulled me up on his lap and kissed me hard, a surprise. My only boyfriend refused to kiss me afterwards until I gargled and brushed.

He was crushing me, hugging me tightly. I wasn't about to protest.

When he finally calmed down.

"Babe, if that was with little experience, I'll never be able to stand it if you get better. I just want to say wow, wow, WOW! It's a good thing I already love you, this would have pushed me over the top if it hadn't. I can't wait to do you."

Cold hard reality washed over me.

"Thank you honey. I want to say I really would like to practice some more, if you still want me after I tell you my secret. No, don't say anything yet, please. Just listen with an open heart."

I stood. I wished I was a lawyer, to better present my case. But I was a skilled negotiator, one of the best in my field. I drew on everything I had ever learned to make my case. My speech was rehearsed, refined, designed to cover anything I could anticipate.

"I've never been in love before you, Brian, so this is uncharted territory for me. I dated some, even had two semi serious relationships, but neither made it to the love stage."

I paused, gathering my strength.

"I never expected to fall in love, so I wasn't prepared when I met you. I should have been honest right from the start, but it felt so good to be with you that I kept putting it off. Before I knew it, we were in a serious relationship."

He interrupted.

"Why do I get the feeling I'm not gonna like where this is heading? Are you seriously ill? Got some psycho lurking in the background I need to know about?"

Shaking my head, I plunged on.

"No, no serious illness or crazed ex lovers in the background. Please, let me tell you in my way, at my pace. Just listen, okay? And Brian, when you listen, listen with your heart. Promise me."

He was looking at me with an odd expression.

"I wish I could be different, but I am who I am. If you decide to accept me, I have to tell you that in the near future I have to go through a surgical procedure. It will be painful and take me several months to get over it, but it will be well worth it."

I saw the alarm in his face and held my hand up to stop him from speaking.

"I've wished a thousand times since I met you I had already had the surgery, but the truth is several of my friends went through it, with mixed results. I'm deadly afraid of pain, and their stories made me wait. Now, I'm going to do it, even if you dump me. I can't deny myself any more, I have to do this."

"I've done research, the procedure is far safer now than in the past, and the results are well worth the pain."

I stopped, pleading with my eyes. Sensing my mood, he reached out and took my hand.

"It's sexual reassignment surgery, Brian. I was born a male physically. I still have male 'parts' down below. Please, please, let me finish!"

He didn't pull his hand away, maybe from shock. I took my other hand and put it on his tightly.

"Brian, look at me! Do I look like a man? NO. Why? Because I'm not. I've been recognized as and have lived as a female since I was twelve years old. I can let you talk to my doctors if you like, but the consensus is that I've always been female trapped in a man's body."

"It never really mattered to me before. Then I met you, and you swept me off my feet. You had no clue, did you?"

He finally stirred, sighing.

"None. You were the most attractive woman I've ever seen. Still are, even knowing what I do now. Why didn't you tell me from the start?"

This was eerie. His reaction wasn't what I expected. He wasn't ranting, or calling me vile names. He seemed detached, like he was talking about someone else. I didn't know if it was good or bad.

"Because I was selfish! I've never wanted anyone like I want you. When I'm in your arms, it's the best feeling in the world. I feel safe, secure, loved. I'd never had those feelings before, and I wanted to keep them forever."

I was crying pretty hard by then. He pulled me to him, placing me on his lap and stroking my hair.

"Hush, now. I can't stand to see you cry."

Even emotionally overloaded as I was, I could feel his cock on my thigh. It sent a small thrill through me.

After a few minutes, he sat me down on he couch. His pants were still down by his ankles, and he pulled them on and started pacing.

"Here it comes" I thought, "the beginning of the end."

I was amazingly calm. I knew I would completely collapse later, but I was using all my business skills to hold me together.

"I wish you would have told me. It makes everything I thought we had seem like a lie. I was falling desperately in love with you, while you were keeping this huge secret. Was it fun, leading me on? Did you get a good laugh out of it?"

"NO!" I screamed, shocking both of us with my volume.

"I did not laugh at you. ever. It was fun, being with you. But I didn't do it because I wanted to laugh over your pain when I told you, I did it because I couldn't help myself. It felt too good being with you. I was selfish, all right? Then I messed everything up by falling in love with you, and tricking you to fall for me. I'm so sorry."

His next question went to the heart of the matter.

"What do we do now?"

I was on my knees before him, pleading my case.

"I'm going to keep on loving you, if you let me. If you tell me to go, I'll go. But, if you tell me to stay, be aware, I'll never leave. It's your decision. All I can say is I'm sorry. I shouldn't have deceived you. But I'm being honest now, and I'm begging here. Don't make your decision now. Think about it while I'm in Italy. If you agree, meet us at the airport when we get home. If you're not there, I'll never bother you again. You can take me home now."

He finally seemed to get angry.

"Home? Oh no, you don't drop a bomb like this on me and then just slink off. You're supposed to stay all weekend and you will. I'll probably have questions that need answering, how can you do that if you're not here? Do you understand?"

His voice was forceful, in control. I shuddered slightly, unable to comprehend that he would actually want me to stay. Was this good, or bad? I must have stayed silent too long, because he gripped my hair gently and pulled my head up.

"Girl, answer me. Do you understand?"

I said in the tiniest voice possible.

"Yes dear."

He actually almost smiled.

"Good. Get up, go clean your face. We'll talk a bit more when you get back."

We talked, before we went to bed, separately. It seemed a good idea to both of us. I was as frightened as I had ever been all the next day, but even though he was distant and hesitant to touch, we did the things we had planned. By early afternoon he had thawed a bit, and once held my hand as we walked around the neighborhood. After a few minutes I felt him stiffen a bit, but he didn't pull away.

"Does Aunt Rita or anyone else in the family know?" He asked suddenly, as if it just occurred to him.

"No one in your family knows. Nonna suspects something and told me I needed to tell you my secret, but no one in your family has any idea that I'm transsexual."

"Does anyone at your job know?"

"My boss. I told him when I got promoted. I wanted him to know. He wasn't as shocked as I thought he would be. Turns out his grandson is transgendered. He thought about it, possible embarrassment versus my skills, and skills won out. He said if it ever came out we would spin it as how progressive our company had become. We're too good at what we do for most to complain, so he's not too worried."

We stopped at a small park and sat on a bench. It was the weekend and the parents were out in force, watching their mostly small children play in the sandboxes and the gym equipment. Most seemed to know Brian.

"Mr. Brian, Mr. Brian! Will you get our ball for us?" The little girl was tugging his hand, trying to get him to move.

"Allison! Can't you see Mr. Brian has a friend with him? It's rude to intrude, leave him alone." The mother looked harried. I soon found she had two more children with her, four and two. She needed three sets of eyes.

The five year old looked down, chastised. Before she could say anything he picked her up and swung her until she giggled.

"Don't fuss at her Brenda, can't you see this is an emergency? Now, show us where the ball is."

We all trooped over to a Bradford pear tree, making introductions as we went. When he introduced me as a friend, Brenda grinned.

"Better get a little friendlier with her if you want a couple of these." she teased.

I felt really bad suddenly, knowing I could never give him children, or even if I was even going to be around much longer. To my surprise he gripped my hand and told Brenda with a straight face we had brought the subject up in conversation. She looked shocked, then pleased. She took my other hand.

"It's about time someone hooked him. All the women in the neighborhood were about to give up on him."

I didn't know how to respond, so I just smiled and shook my head.

The ball was about seven feet up in the branches of a Bradford pear tree. It was too small and fragile for him to climb. He actually shook the tree but that just made the ball more firmly lodged. There was nothing around to use to dislodge it. The other kids who were playing with Allison were all gathered by then, looking sad.

He suddenly smiled and started talking to the children.

"Kids, this is going to be an object lesson in how to cooperate and help each other to attain a goal. I can't get the ball by myself. I'm gonna need help. Allie, will you help me?"

"Uh huh, Mr. Brian, what do I have to do?"

He reached down and put her on his shoulders.

"Together we're going to try to get the ball down. But, even with you sitting on my shoulders we still can't reach it. What should we do now? Think hard kids, what do we need?"

The seven little children stood in deep thought before a little boy started jumping up and down in excitement.

"I know, I know!"

Brian smiled. He was so beautiful when he smiled.

"And what should we do then, Jimmy?"

"We need someone bigger than Allie to get on your shoulders, someone big enough to reach our ball! We need her!" He was pointing at me.

"You're exactly right, Jimmy. This is my girlfriend Andi. I bet if you ask her nicely she would help us."

I found myself surrounded by small children pleading with me while a few moms looked on.

"Please Miss Andi! Please?"

I held up my hands.

"I'll do it. But you're about to learn something else. I'm a negotiator for my company. Know what a negotiator does? No? They get people who want things together to help each other out. We make sure everyone involved comes away happy."

"Now, here's the negotiation. You want the ball right? And Mr. Brian wants to get the ball for you. What do I get?"

None of them knew how to answer that. I made it easy for them.

"I'll make it easy for you. If we get the ball down, every boy has to shake Mr. Brians' hand and thank him. The girls have the option of shaking his hand or giving him a kiss, and girls, I know for a fact Mr. Brian likes to be kissed. Do you agree? Oh, and one more thing, Mr. Brian has to kiss me too, after we get the ball down."

"That, children, is a successful deal. Everyone gets what they want. You guys get the ball. Mr. Brian gets gratitude and the warm fuzzy feeling of doing a good thing, and I get a kiss. Everybody wins. Do we have an agreement?"

The mothers laughed while the kids clamored their yeses.

Suddenly Brian spoke up.

"I don't agree. Nobody really asked me what I wanted besides getting the ball down."

There were some disappointed children. Allie spoke up.

"I'll give you two kisses, Mr. Brian, will that do?"

He grinned.

"Yes, that's great, but it has to be two kisses from every girl, including Miss Andi."

He looked me right in the eyes.

"Do we have a deal?"

"Why yes, Mr. Brian, I believe we do."

I keep forgetting how strong he is. Before I knew it I was on his shoulders. The ball came out easily while the children cheered. I held the ball when he sat me down.

"Time to render payment, dears. I'll go first."

I grabbed his head and kissed him hard for about five seconds. It got quiet except for the giggles of the moms.

When I let him go I was smiling ear to ear.

"That was a big people kiss, kids. Just a peck on the cheek will do for you guys."

The first three little girls insisted he pick them up for their kiss, and thank yous. Allie surprised us all when she kissed him on the lips.

"I need to practice, I think I'm gonna marry you when I grow up."

Brian didn't laugh it off, but kept a serious face to protect her feelings.

"Thank you Allie. If I'm not already married when you get big I'll take you up on that. All right?"

She nodded solemnly as he put her down, whispering something in her ear. She nodded, giggling.

While the boys were shaking his hand Allie was whispering to the other girls. They in turned whispered to the boys. They soon surrounded me as I gave the ball to Allie.

"Miss Andi, we want 'nother 'gotiation."

"What do you want to negotiate?"

"We want you and Mr. Brian to play with us."

I smiled at them.

"I see. What are you prepared to offer?"

She frowned.

"We'll all give you a kiss, even the boys. We'll do it for Mr. Brian, 'cept the boys. They'll give him a hug though, if they have to."

I had a counter offer.

"I accept IF I also get hugs, and Mr. Brian agrees. I'm willing to add another kiss for Mr. Brian, too. And also, if your moms agree, we get to you buy you all ice creams after we're done playing, including the moms."