Chapter 4

Reborn (Part 2)

I awoke in an awkward position. I was seated, my butt was really sore and cold, and my thigh really hurt. I tried to move my arms and realized they were tied up. I tried to pull my hands free, but they were secured tightly, wide abreast of me. I realized then that I was stripped naked. Panic finally found its way into my brain. I struggled and flailed as hard as I could, the metallic restraints rattled against the wall. I moved my legs, which weren't tied down and crossed my ankles and squeezed.

I heard footsteps in the hallway, I realized I was in the big room I'd been beaten in, I hadn't noticed the table next to the gear rack. The two guys came into the room and one walked over to me. I watched as he unfastened his pants and let them fall to the floor. He seemed undisturbed as he waddled over to me. His hands clamped onto my knees and pushed them apart a little. I fought the action, and he didn't flinch. His hands probed the gunshot would and he jammed his thumb into the wound. I flailed hard, he used the break in my resistance to step between my legs. I could see his grin in the grizzled facial hair. He forced his way into me. I'd been through this in the factory, but it felt worse here. His hands groped my bare sides, squeezing and roughly rubbing. I gave up resisting went slack, my head lolled and I closed my eyes. I felt a hand on my head, the rhythm picked up, grunting and squeezing my breasts ... his hand took a fistful of my hair and forced my head back. I gasped with pain. His face moved close to me and I felt his teeth dig into my neck. I started crying. Bad memories were coming back to me in waves. I kept my eyes squeezed shut, willing myself to be somewhere else.

After what seemed like a long time, he grunted hard and pushed away from me. He took a couple steps back and fixed his pants. He nodded to his friend on his way out. His friend smiled at me, his clean shaven face didn't hide the desire that was plastered upon it. I sat, suspended by my restraints. He came over and did some sort of assessment, he squeezed my breasts as if checking the firmness of a fruit, and then he knelt and pushed his way in ... I was hoping he'd be quick, but he wasn't. His hand wrapped around my neck and squeezed harder and harder. I was seeing spots and I felt my head rolling to the side when he released, and then my vision cleared, he repeated the process. I wanted to cry, but I couldn't. I was too desperate for any gasp of air I could fill my lungs with. I didn't have the energy to fight, I was openly crying loudly by the time he finished his task and disengaged himself. They left me alone for a long time.

I heard the door open, and footsteps came across the room. I felt the restraints being opened and my body was lifted up. I felt myself being thrown, I landed in a heap on one of the mats. The grizzled guy stood over me.

"I don't get it" he said. "Stand up"

I refused to move, and instead curled into a ball. His right foot slammed down into my side, causing me to spasm out of my ball. His foot stood on my bare stomach, and he looked down at me.

"How does a little whore gun down a building full of Fourteenth District Militia, and get captured by two regular Joes?" He grinned wide. "Are you playing weak?" His booted foot nudged my right breast. I laid there staring up, too scared to move. He removed two items from his belt, he dropped one next to me.

"Open it" He demanded.

I fished around on the floor and found the metallic cylinder. I pressed the button and felt it snap. He did the same. He held a metal baton, identical to the one that lay on the mat next to me. I sighed, a strained and panicked sigh. His boot lifted. His left boot kicked my shot hip. I rolled onto my side, I heard a whistling sound and then my back was lit up in fresh pain. I rolled back onto my back. I looked up and saw the baton being swung down again at my face. I closed my eyes and accepted my fate. I felt the tip rake across the top of my left breast. A fire erupted in body, I bellowed out in a shriek. He backed off a step and bellowed a laugh.

"You're so weak, you're probably a homeless tramp" He mocked. I got to my hands and knees and started crawling away, I took the baton up that had rolled away and it smacked the mat with each fall of my right hand. I got to my feet and held the long metallic baton before me in a defensive stance. I used my left arm to cover my chest. He looked me over and smiled satisfactorily.

"We're going to play a game" He said sternly. "If you lose, I'm going to ravage you ... if you win, you can go home."

I looked at the floor.

"But of course, you haven't got a home." He mocked. "You're a sex toy, now fight me."

He moved in arcing the baton back and forth like a fencer. I watched him move in, and raised the baton when he swung in an arc. The baton clattered out of my hand with the hard strike of his. He bellowed a laugh.

"You lose" He said, he swung the baton in an arc back across his body. I staggered backwards and the tip barely missed my stomach. He stepped in, swinging down at my left shoulder. I moved sideways and the shot missed. I saw his face brighten with frustration. I was afraid to get hit by the metal device, it felt like it would break any bone it hit. He stepped back and tossed the baton down.

"I don't need this" he laughed. "I'll fight you with bare hands."

I looked towards the door. His friend was standing there with a baton himself.

"You won't escape, you can fight, or just die."

I'd been in several fist fights at the factory, but never against someone who I'd liken to a prison guard. I put my hands up and waited for him to attack. I dropped any false modesty I had and matched him step for step around a circle, trying to keep us separated. He lunged at me, it wasn't something I was prepared for. His shoulder hit just below my belly button and I drove my elbow down hard into his back. He lifted me clear off my feet and tossed me over his back. I landed hard and was seeing stars. I heard him storming across the mat towards me, I tried to roll away, but my body wasn't responding. I accepted my fate and felt myself being dragged. I looked up at a fist, it connected with my face, I spat blood and another shot hit my face. Then the beating stopped. The guy stood up, panting. I heard him undo his pants and plop down. I felt my legs get wrenched apart and then I mercifully passed out.

I woke up again where I had passed out. I was alone in the middle of the big room. I felt my face, my left cheek was swelled up pretty good. I imagined I probably looked pretty crappy. I was happy to be in this room however, in my walking around I had noticed the small box hooked to the wall. I had found it held edged weapons. I pulled myself to my feet and found the box in the corner, as if it had fallen off in my struggle and was simply kicked to the side. I unlatched it and pulled out a black knife. I realized I had no where to hide it, as I was still quite naked. I went back and pulled a piece of the mat up, and slid the knife into the space. It wasn't much, but it might give me a chance.

I was still crawling around on the floor, making sure the mat looked okay when the door opened again and the second guy came in. I figured they were waiting till I came to before they lived out their fantasies some more, that the thrill of controlling a conscious person was better than the same for an unconscious one. He didn't say anything to me, he simply walked over and kicked at me. I barely rolled out of the way. He chased after, stomping down at me as I rolled on the ground.

"Just quit fighting" He demanded. "You aren't going to win"

I kicked out at his support leg and the kick glanced off his shin. In this pause, he stomped down and his boot landed on my gunshot wound. I shrieked, but the impact filled me with adrenaline. I moved quicker, more desperately, then I had another idea.

He noticed me stop rolling, I crawled towards the place where the knife was hidden. I glanced towards the door, the other guy was standing there, watching in anticipation. His grizzled expression looked fixed from the distance I was at, but I couldn't tell. The only thing I could discern without much thought was that he was very excited about what he was witnessing.

I got to the spot and rolled onto my back. I fished around beneath me, looking for the flap. The second guy moved towards me.

"Just ****me and get it over with" I demanded, I tried to sound as desperate as I could. "I just don't want to get hurt any more."

He shrugged and started undoing his pants. He dropped to his knees and crawled towards me. I found the butt of the knife and in a blur, brought it out and thrust it into the guy's neck, just below his chin. The angle of my attack made the blade stick out the other side of his thin neck. I twisted back, freeing the knife. A fountain of blood poured down. The other guy came storming over, drawing a baton. I rolled onto my hands and knees, the second guy, still somehow alive grabbed my good leg and held me down tight. The baton guy started swinging. His first swing narrowly missed my face. I felt the wind pass my nose. I swung the knife after his arm and nicked his wrist. He swore angrily and employed a backhanded swing. I freed my foot and used all my might to leap away. The hastily swung baton made a sickening snap as it stuck the dead man's skull. I swung the knife, from my position on my back and raked the back of his knee. I didn't think I did any damage, but he toppled to the ground next to me. I realized he was badly injured. In his confusion, I jabbed the knife towards his face. The knife entered his eye socket, I felt the wide blade catch on the orbital bones surrounding his eye. I retracted the knife, skewered eye still attached, the nervous bundle was severed by my thrust.

He flailed with the baton now, succeeding in striking me several times in the face, and torso. I was too amped up on adrenaline to notice now. Using the knife, I barely deflected a wild swing and put my knee on his arm. His strength was impressive, with his right arm alone, I could feel my body being lifted. I rolled with his lift and straddled his chest. Under any other circumstance I couldn't see him objecting to my current position, but my knees were on his arms, my arms were over my head, the knife pointing down at his face, I used every bit of my 124lb body weight to drive the tip of the knife straight down. I felt the knife choose the path of least resistance, after it glanced off the upper jaw bone, it found its way through the nasal passage and I buried the blade to the hilt into his brain. His struggle immediately ceased.

The realization of what had just happened came to me immediately. I just killed two men. I felt desperately sick. I felt all over my body, I was covered in blood, and saliva from the guy who I stabbed in the neck. I felt my hair, it was matted thickly with the first guy's blood.

I got up and ran down the hall, stark naked and covered in blood. I twisted the shower on and stood under cold water, shivering. It eventually warmed and my shivering stopped. I sat down, letting the water wash over me. I felt it washing away all manner of ill thought. I stared at the floor, unable to think of anything except the glaring fact:

I, Courtney McDaniels, had just killed two men, using a knife, in the most brutal and messy way possible.

I again felt sick. I grabbed a bottle of shampoo and squeezed a glob into my hair, the blood rinsed out a little easier than I expected. I used a bristled brush and scoured every single centimeter of my body three times. My skin was bright pink, and bloody in spots. The feeling would not wash off. The feeling of guilt, of anger, and of hatred. The feeling that I had killed not just one, but two human beings. But then another feeling came into my mind. It wasn't anger, hate, nor was it grief. It was elation.

I replayed the scene, the expression on the man's face as he realized this 120lb girl was about to drive a knife into his head after he had raped and tortured her for days. The feeling of elation broadened into outright laughter as I realized that I was not just some lost to the world 18 year old girl, whose life had been stolen from her. No… I was capable of not only surviving, but of the primal instincts necessary to reunite me with my loved ones back east.

This mental reverie was interrupted by the harsh realization that I was still in no shape to travel, and even if I was, the places I'd be going had more skilled people than these two goons who were looking for cheap thrills. I needed to be strong, I needed to know how to fight and more critically how to plan… and how to think. I took up the bristled brush and lathered my body once more, I scrubbed harder this time, confident with this new focus I could do it, and I did. I felt absolved from my trials, and I felt clean.

I turned the shower off and stepped out. I wrapped a towel around me tightly and wrung my hair out. I made sure the front door was locked, and moved around to see what my unwelcome guests had been doing. I found they were using the radios and eating. That they had been eating didn't surprise me, but the radio question was egging in my mind. I sat in the towel and scribbled the numbers down, and then I shuffled through the notebook. One of the frequencies belonged to the Minnesota National Guard. I didn't know why this was here, but whatever.

I got up and went in search of clothes. I found the linen closet and grabbed some more doctor scrubs. I pulled them on and again wrapped up my hair. I sighed harshly and walked around some more. I found my clothes in the room next to the couch. I pulled the parka on and picked the handgun off the table. I pulled the slide back and verified there was a bullet there. I pocketed the gun and hugged myself. Despite my previous revelations, I lapsed into a desperate chasm of depression and loneliness. I sat down and felt the bodies of my two former captors grinding against me, violating me not just physically but emotionally. I rubbed my waist, as if brushing the ill feelings away.

I looked around the room some more and stood up, grunting as I did so. I wandered around a bit, I decided I had to leave this place. I walked down to the gun room and set a bunch of the guns on the table, and a bunch of full bullet magazines next to them. I found a canvas bag and pushed the mass into the bag. I brought the bag to the door and returned to the gun room. I hefted the big rifle and carried it down the hall to the door and left it next to the bag. I then went and started moving the canned food from the pantry to the doorway. I made several trips, until the pile next to the door was half way up the wall. I grabbed blankets next, and the leather cushions from the couch. I grabbed keys to the truck, and backed it to the door. I opened the back hatch and for a moment, relived the capture. I unfastened the dog fence and threw it out onto the ground. I dropped the second row seat and put the cushions there to serve as a bed. I used the blankets to make a real bed in the back of the truck, I adorned it with six clean pillows from the linen closet.

"Hmm" I said softly. I was stacking cans of food in the back of the truck. I then heaved the canvas bag of weapons into the back of the truck and set the big rifle in the back too. I walked briskly to the driver's seat and climbed in. The motor started quickly and I saw the tank was full. The scent though, the scent was terrible. The diesel fumes brought me back again to the factory. I sighed and shifted to drive, then started driving.

The motor made a whistling noise as I merged on to the highway. I sighed softly as I set the cruise control at 60 miles an hour. I was free again. But where was I going?…

The expressway led me into the northern Rocky Mountains. I discovered that I could raise the center arm rest, and kick my feet up onto the passenger seat, and more or less lay across the front bench while I motored along. I'm sure it was anything but safe, but it was at least comfortable. I was watching the scenery roll by, it didn't seem like I was really traveling very fast. All around me, all I could see were hills, rocks, and trees. The scenery was mostly unchanged when I stopped to make lunch.

I parked in a roadside park and opened the rear doors, then I sat on the rear bumper and ate pears out of a can. I also started on something called an MRE, the MRE wasn't very tasty, but it had food in it, so I gobbled it down and chased it with a lot of water. After my impromptu lunch, I decided I wanted to stretch a bit, so I walked around the little park. It was nice and scenic, with a pair of picnic tables. Out of curiosity, I sat at one of the tables and looked around, as a child, I remembered driving past many parks like this, but we'd never stopped to see them.

I sauntered around the park for about an hour, before a wind picked up and I hustled back to the truck. It was cold! I looked at the fuel, there was still plenty, so I decided I should keep going east before I tried to go south. I remerged onto the expressway and resumed my 60mph cruise due east.

The sun was beating down through the thickening clouds still when I saw a town ahead. I immediately felt around for the little P228 that was in my parka. I still wasn't sure how to use it, but it made me feel safer. I tightened my hand on the grip as I rolled up to a couple guys in winter jackets keeping warm at a camp fire.

"Hello" I said as sweetly as I could manage. "I'm looking for fuel, do you have any?"

"Nope" one of them replied "We don't even have enough for our own uses."

"Oh" I sighed. "In that case, can I park here for the night? I'll sleep in my car, I won't be a bother."

The two guys looked at each other and shrugged. "We don't have that authority"

"Who does?"

"The mayor"

"How do I ask him?"

"She is out of the settlement at the moment."

"When will she be back?"

"Tomorrow"

"What do I do until then?"

They looked at each other again, one of them heaved his shoulders. "Fine ... there's a park near the middle of town. Don't cause us any trouble, we're taking a risk letting you in."

"I won't, I promise" I beamed a smile. After a wave, I rolled the truck into the town and found the park. I backed in and shut the motor off. I climbed out of the truck and started wandering around the small town. I was a little curious what people used for money these days. I had found the box of "junk" silver that the guys had stolen from me, so I dumped the contents into my parka and started exploring.

The town was quaint, it looked like it would have belonged in a show profiling rural America. The central figure was a Christian Church. There were also many small storefronts and homes dotting the main thoroughfare. I walked the three block area of the center of town a few times before settling on an open faced market. There were vegetables here and I hadn't had real fruit or vegetables in a long time. I looked around for a price, but I couldn't find anything that indicated a price. An old lady came waddling over to me.

"Can I help you, young lady?"

"I'd like some apples, but I don't know how much they are."

"Well dear, they're a quarter ounce each."

I dug around in my pocket and found one of the coins. I produced it. "Will this buy four?"

"Oh no dear, that's a half ounce piece"

I frowned and examined the coin, it read 0.50oz Pure Silver. I sighed and handed her the coin. "I'll just have two then."

She smiled and waved a hand over the display. I chose two crisp green apples and set back about walking around the town while I munched. The idea that there were denominations didn't surprise me, but I had a sudden fear of not having enough money for fuel. I bit into an apple, and held it between my teeth. My mouth watered incessantly and I had to keep slurping to avoid drooling all over myself as I walked along. I counted my money up. I had 8.25oz of silver. Given that two apples cost half an ounce, I judged I was "almost broke."

I heard the sound of children playing. It was a nice sound, I stood at the edge of another park and watched as a group of boys and girls played tag. One boy in particular was chasing a girl, like a lion after a zebra, it was very cute. When he'd catch her, they laughed and then the chase was on again. I got a pang in my stomach with the realization I was alone, and alienated. I stood and watched the playing children for a few more minutes then turned and walked slowly back towards the market area.

After I paced the town a few more times, I retired to the truck. I checked to make sure I'd have fuel to get me somewhere useful. I watched the gauge settle just under the ¾ mark, I wondered just how big this tank was. I felt a little concerned I was going to get stranded somewhere. I rolled the windows down an inch and made sure the doors were all locked. Then I crawled back and laid on the cushions. I used all the blankets to cover me up and still found myself cold a little. I curled up and waited for my body to start producing heat. After what seemed like an eternity of the cold feeling, I started to feel toasty warm. I tossed and turned and eventually fell somewhat asleep. The sun came up and I covered my face against the morning twilight. It was only after the sun had risen a little that I found myself fast asleep.

The next afternoon, after a long and interrupted sleep, I sat in the passenger seat while snacking on the other apple. I had found a map in the passenger side door compartment and I was studying it, trying to figure out where I was and where I might be able to find what I needed, which at this point was fuel and a safe place to spend the rapidly approaching winter. I had mentally toyed with the idea of running south to warmer climates, but that seemed like a waste of time, especially considering that I'd still have to get east somehow and I had no money for fuel.

My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of people talking and approaching the truck. My startled and dropped the map, then started watching mirrors. The guy I'd seen at the barrel had a buddy and I had assumed they were coming to evict me. They approached and rapped on the glass. I talked through the gap.

"Yes?"

"You're still leaving, right?"

"Yes"

"Just checking" and then they turned and kept walking.

"How rude" I thought to myself, making a pouty face that would have made the young Olsen twins jealous. I then returned to studying the map. A few minutes later, I crawled over to the driver's chair and turned the key, waited, then started the motor. I gingerly rolled the truck out of town to the east, and then sped up a bit, once again, setting the cruise control and lounging across the bench.

"Where can I find fuel?" I asked myself. Then, it dawned on me. I'd have to take it. I'd have to steal like I stole food in the factory. It was the only realistic way to survive, given that I had no real skills outside of aligning parts on a conveyer belt. The thought of stealing didn't trouble me that much, it was the environment I'd been in for years now. The thought that scared me was if I got caught, the penalty would be imprisonment if I was lucky, but more likely, someone would just shoot me on the spot and that would be the end of Courtney. These dark thoughts bothered me a little, but I started to get ideas. I decided I'd have to at least try, in this new kill or be killed world, I reasoned that though they may be better prepared and or stronger, faster, and smarter than me… would those matter if I was first? Do skills of that nature account for intuition and first mover advantage?

These were the questions I pondered as I rolled up to another idiot and a burn barrel. I'd been seeing a lot of these, four corners, major intersections… they all had some idiot with a burn barrel. Truth be told, I was getting ****y regardless. My recent ordeals had really soured my faith in humanity and I was once again considering suicide. But I knew I couldn't because I knew where to look for my family, and I wanted nothing more than to be back home.

I slowed to a stop as the guy and his friend waved at me. One of them came to the driver's side window and motioned for it to roll down. I shook my head "no." He then produced a gun and motioned at the window. I made an exasperated sigh and rolled the window down half an inch.

"What do you want?" I asked, making no effort to hide my annoyance.

"Toll is 2oz of Silver."

"I'm not giving you 2oz of anything." I said back, my stomach tightened a little as he walked to the front of the truck and started consulting his friend. I watched with a cold gaze. They glanced at me several times and then the guy came walking back. His friend stood just behind him.

"2oz of Silver or we'll confiscate your truck."

I sat there, my face was probably quite wild, I felt myself flush a little. The second guy flicked his safety off on his rifle, it made a seemingly loud "snick" in the crisp afternoon silence. I sighed and dug around for two of my 8.25oz of silver. I tossed them out the window and they clattered to the ground. The guy by the window had first watched me fish them out, then watched as they traversed across his field of vision, then as they clattered to the ground.

"That's not very polite. Pick them up" he angrily demanded. The tension rose by the second.

"No" I replied. I looked around, the barrel was flanked by a pair of cars blocking the road. I wondered if the SUV I was in would be able to move them. My thought was interrupted by a snapping sound. I realized the guy was trying to pull the door open.

"Unlock this door right now!" He demanded

I felt my stomach get lax and I felt really sick. I made a choice, and let go of the brake. I gunned the throttle and the truck lurched forwards.

CRUNCH! The sound of the metal bars on the front of the truck colliding with the front driverside of the first small car stunned me. I looked behind me and the two guys were raising guns. I twisted the wheel and put the pedal to the floor. The small car skidded out of the way as the rear tires smoked. It was as if I was shot out of a cannon then, without the resistance of the small car, the rear tires promptly found traction and I was accelerated down the road in a cloud of tire smoke and diesel exhaust. My heart raced madly in my chest and I forced myself to unclench the steering wheel. I realized I was panting madly and I forced myself to take deep measured breaths.

I pulled the truck over after driving for half an hour and I more or less fell out onto the hard pavement. I got to my hands and knees and felt the unmistakable prelude to vomiting. I forced myself to focus and keep my breakfast in. I sat back, sitting on my ankles with my legs folded beneath me. I steadied myself with the running board and gazed absently back up the road. Something in me told me they had to be chasing me. My hand reached into the parka and I gripped the P228. It was still there. I used the mirror and pulled myself up. The truck idled indifferently as I pulled the door back open and sat back in the seat.

I drove in absolute silence for another hour before I came to yet another set of barrels, but there was no one around these. I rolled past them and looked around eagerly, waiting for whatever surprise might be in store for someone bold enough to drive past. The road opened back up and I was cruising blissfully again. I decided I'd have to stop and use the bushes, so I pulled the lumbering truck to a stop and scurried off into the woods. I found an acceptable looking tree and with a flush of embarrassment sat across it and did what needed doing. I used tissue as toilet paper and then applied a liberal amount of Purell to my hands afterwards. I found the truck still sitting there and I climbed in, happy. I merged back onto the road and checked the mirrors. A truck was coming up the road. My stomach sank, I assumed it had to be the guys from the road block. I sped up a little and looked for a place to hide. I saw what looked like a dirt road coming up on my left, so I stood on the brakes and swung the truck in then drove up the dirt path and turned around. I wasn't sure if I was still being followed, so I decided to stay here for the rest of the day.

Sitting in the woods, hands clenched on the steering wheel, with the motor off was deafeningly quiet. I crawled to the back and laid on my makeshift bed. The blankets felt really warm, so I pulled them over my body and I eyed the bag of guns that I had nearly killed myself loading. The big rifle was laying atop it, indifferently. I eyed the scope and ran my hand across its aluminum finish. Then I pulled it over. It snagged on several things, but it was eventually close enough to me I could kiss it. I started fiddling with the gun, there wasn't a lot to do with it, a box magazine fed into the bottom of the gun, a lever on the back opened a hole where I assumed the brass casings ejected from, and then there was the trigger. A small lever I figured was the safety after trying to make the gun click on an empty firing chamber. The trigger I found was surprisingly light, even compared to the handgun, there was nothing to it.