Chapter 3: B Cars and the RLI

We had a couple of really good bush trips and uncommonly for us there were 2 comandos in camp at the same time ... LeCoqDor got a really bad hiding that night and there was a barney second 2 none – some skin heads had klapped a troopy around and a little commando justice was being handed out – One poor Oke went through the downstairs plate glass window ... Now not being a noted fighter and avoiding another broken nose I was sitting under a table with my buddy and girl friend when a skin head missed his kick and kicked my buddies cute little girl friend...

Of course Al and I were immediately incensed and proceeded to pound the living shit out of the idiot making him apologize to Lynn every Klap or two ... Some stupid cop took exception to this and slapped Al and I in hand cuffs and dragged us downstairs and threw us in the back of a B car parked in front of about six or seven ... Now as you all know there are no door handles on the inside of a cop car so our intrepid girl friends snuck around the side and opened the off side door for us – Our next piece of luck was the driver of said B car had left it idling ... Hand cuff keys hanging on the heater controls – what an ideal opportunity – as we watched the guys playing football with the other B car Blue lights we quietly climbed in to the car and drove off – Now being pissed as a fart does not help my memory much but I remember dropping Al at home but not much else...

I woke up the next afternoon and shit I was not to clever ... I was a very sorry sight as I staggered in to the kitchen at lunch time noting that Mom had just come back from church and had one very pissed off look on her face ... I suddenly realized that I had lost a girl friend somewhere along the last few hours and looking at my moms face my life as well – My Dad walked in and I could see he could barely hold his giggle back & now I was really worried...

I tried to put an innocent look on my face and gave my Mom a cheerful good morning ... It may have been mid summer and 35c outside but I could swear that the temperature dropped to freezing ... In one of those voices, you know, that one all Moms use when you are in the Kak – "And how did you get home last night" -- O Shit, how to answer this one... "In what!!!!" – my mind was slowly revolving and I remembered that Al's girl friend had picked myself and Lynn up the previous evening ... Eish my mind now was in Tilt and I was starting to feel really sick...

My Mom beckoned me to follow her and took me out front and pointed – "What is a B Car doing in my garage?" ... OK I now realized I was so deap in it that I might as well commit Sepuku/harikiri or whatever as for sure my punishment for this one was going to be beyond any realm of the imagination - I stumbled back to my bedroom, put my pillow over my head and went back to sleep ... I was woken later that afternoon by my bouncy Girlfriend insisting I join her in the pool – I pulled on my speado and went to the pool noticing that my Moms car port was now empty ... I was then informed by my Dad that my lovely Mom had phoned the Member in Charge at Central (He was an old boyfriend from years before) and he had come out with a driver and collected the errant B Car ... To this day I don't know what happened to the poor cop who lost his car but I had my leg pulled in later years by certain police officers...