Chapter 4

[Charlie writes from Italy]

We sat down at a table with Tomas and Bobbi on one side and Andrea and I on the other. Guiseppe sat next to Tomas and Andrea at the head of the table. Marco sat with a woman who had been introduced as his wife at the other end. We were a little bit separate from the others.

I noticed that Mom Janice was watching but she was sitting with my dads and other two moms. I knew she was concerned but they would keep her in check.

We had eaten most of our meal when Tomas talked and then Guiseppe said, "Tomas would like to talk to you before talking to Bobbi's parents. He doesn't know English well enough so asked me to translate and for Bobbi to listen and correct any errors that might creep in. He says that some of what he will say will be new to her, too."

From here, I have decided to treat the words as if coming from Tomas directly. The conversation took much longer because of the stops and starts involved in translation.

"Your sister is a lovely, intelligent woman. Your communities have much knowledge that we no longer have. Her presence would help us greatly. For that reason, my father will be glad to support my request.

"I have listened to her talk and watched her interact with my friends and family. I want her to stay even if she never shared any knowledge with us. She is kind, intelligent, and beautiful. It is her heart that makes her so very special and has captured mine completely. I love her.

"She has denied me but I will not give up. If she leaves, I will follow on foot. I will swim the ocean. I will become part of your community and learn English. I want her to be my wife."

Bobbi looked surprised at some of this but didn't seem inclined to turn him away.

Tomas continued. "I would like for us to live here but, most of all, I want us to be together as husband and wife. Here, I am known as a good farmer, a kind, Godly man, and smart. I am smart enough to have been in the lead on setting your radio to working though I had much help."

Bobbi interrupted. "His friends and others all told me that he led them and it was his idea to get it working."

Tomas continued through Guiseppe. "Bobbi overstates my contribution to the project. I am learning English but don't have enough to converse with you on such an important subject as my feelings for Bobbi.

"I wanted to talk to you first. Bobbi says that you two are second in command to one of your mothers. If I have at least your grudging support, then I believe that I can face all five of her parents with some slight hope of success."

He looked at us hopefully. I noticed that Bobbi had tears in her eyes along with a shine that Andrea's eyes hold when she looks at me. I was nervous as I have ever been. There were a lot of emotions at the table.

I could tell that Tomas was earnest in his statements. I could also tell that he was and is a proud young man who was not used to revealing his emotions and vulnerabilities to others. Bobbi was nervous. She desperately wanted our approval. Marco wanted his son happy but also wanted him to stay. His mother, Isabella, wanted her son to be happy and didn't truly realize that it might mean he would leave them to find that happiness. Guiseppe thought Tomas was making a decision faster than he should but recognized that Tomas had never before made a decision that, fast or slow, was made without considering the ramifications. Finally, I felt Andrea's mind that wanted to support Tomas in his suit but would bow to whatever decision I made and wait for me to speak. She was determined that she would support whatever I decided.

I felt pressured but realized that this was a call I would have to make and I would have to live with it. I spoke slowly looking at Tomas and ignoring the others. "Tomas, do you understand our customs regarding marriage and women's rights?" It took a few moments for this to be translated and explained sufficiently to be understood. Bobbi was involved in the discussion until she was satisfied that he could say that he understood. He finally nodded that he understood and, even further, agreed at least as far as his relationship with Bobbi was concerned.

He surprised me. Haltingly, he said, "I think your way is more good than our way. I will use it for my life with every woman. It is right." Bobbi looked at him and spoke to him in Italian. He looked her in the eye and said slowly, "I will treat you with respect as equal. Our children will be taught that way because it is right not just for love." Bobbi hugged him.

Everyone now looked at me again. I decided. I said, "Tomas, I will support you. You may tell my parents that as well as others." I braced my body. My wife started it followed by a fast moving Bobbi. Tomas hugged me and kissed my cheeks as did his parents. Andrea came in for her share of hugs and kisses.