I

I love my Uncle Teddy because he’s weird. He’s like almost fifty, and he still lives with my grandmom and makes model airplanes in the basement. It’s not like he’s a total loser. He’s got a master’s in electrical engineering, and he works on radar or something for some big defense contractor in New Jersey. Dad says he makes more money than him and Mom combined, and he’s always going to California or Hawaii or Guam to “test the systems.” It’s just that he never got married. Dad doesn’t remember him ever having a girlfriend. Or a boyfriend, for that matter. Mom says it’s because his mother castrated him psychologically. I think that means he’s afraid of sex, but I can tell you, he’s not afraid of sex with his favorite niece.

That would be me. My name is Danielle, and I love to go around naked. Well, not so much love to as have to. I’ve done it at my school and around my neighborhood, and once, late late at night, I walked into the Mini-Mart in nothing but a tank top and a floppy straw hat. But my most creative excursion, if that’s the word I want, has to have been Halloween. That required Uncle Teddy’s special talents.

We got the idea about a week before. I was home alone when the doorbell rang. I was in my room, and needless to say (but I’ll say it anyway), I didn’t have a stitch on. I’m not supposed to answer the door when Mom and Dad aren’t home, but they told me Uncle Teddy might stop by. So I came down, pulling my bathrobe on, tying the belt just as I opened the door. I was kind of pissed off, actually. I’d just started to play with myself upstairs, watching myself in the mirror, and I didn’t like having the show interrupted. But as soon as Uncle Teddy came in and got a look at me, I knew I could have some fun with him.

He’s a big guy, a lot thicker than my dad, with full red cheeks and a curly blonde beard. It’s starting to turn gray, I think, but it’s so light it’s hard to tell. He had on jeans and tan work shoes and a leather pilot jacket (he’s a pilot, too) with a fur collar. More and more he reminds me of Santa Claus.

“Hey, Squirt.”

“Hi, Uncle Teddy.”

“How’s my little girl?”

“I’m not so little.”

“I can see that.”

He kissed me on the head, which he does all the time, and he rubbed my back through my robe, which he never did before.

“Your dad home?”

“They’re not back yet.”

Mom and Dad teach at the music school, and sometimes they don’t get home till late.

“Okay. I just wanted to drop this off,” he said. Uncle Teddy has all kinds of tools, and Dad’s always borrowing them, even though half the time he has no idea how to use them. This time, it was a red plastic box with a switch on it and a little plastic spot on top that looked like it might light up.

“What is it?”

“It’s a stud finder,” he said. “Your dad said he wanted to hang some pictures.”

I pointed the thing at him.

“Beep beep beep beep beep!” I said. “Hey it works! There’s a stud right here.”

“Yeah, I overload them all the time,” Uncle Teddy said. “I should get going.”

“Can’t you stick around?” I put the red box on the coffee table.
“I don’t want to keep you. You look like you were about to take a shower.”

“I was,” I lied. “But I don’t have to.”

“Okay, then.”

He took off his jacket and sat on the sofa. Right away I jumped on his leg, straddling it like a horse, the way I did when I was little. Only, like I told him, I wasn’t so little anymore. My knee was tucked into his crotch. I hadn’t tied my robe very tight — just an overhand knot — and it sort of fell open at the top, so he could see the middle of my chest. He must have known I was naked under there. He reached around and gave me a rub low on my back, like he was being affectionate, but I think really he was checking to see if I was wearing panties.

Which, of course, I wasn’t.

He had on a green-plaid flannel shirt. It was nice and soft, and I rubbed his chest through it while we talked. He kept his hand on my back.

“You all set for Halloween?” he asked me.

“I guess.”

“You don’t sound too enthused. Don’t you have a costume picked out?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t know.”

“Come on. When your father and I were your age, we planned our costumes for weeks. We never bought anything, either. It was all homemade.”

“It’s boring,” I said. “I’m tired of dressing up like princesses and crap.”

“Too much kids’ stuff?”

“Yeah.”

“You could try something more adult.”

We thought about that for a minute, and while we were thinking, I started wriggling on his leg. The rough denim felt good down there, and remember, I wasn’t wearing anything that got in the way. I was getting warm, and kind of wet, which he must have felt through his pants leg. He was getting bothered, too. I could tell by looking at his jeans.

He swallowed hard.

“Well, if you had your choice, what would you go out as?” he asked.

“Lady Godiva.”

“I like it.”

“Yeah, but Mom and Dad would never let me.”

“Why not? Before you were born, once, they went to a party as Adam and Eve. They had on flesh-colored body stockings, and fig leaves cut out of felt in just the right places. We could do the same for you, with a long wig. We could tape up the hair strategically. In the dark people would think you’re really ... really, uh...”

“Really naked?”

“Mm-hm.”

By now I was pretty obviously humping his leg. That loosened my belt, which made my robe hang open more. Uncle Teddy was so cute. He pretended to cough, so he could move his head to the side and then glance back and peek at my little titties.